Laurie Boschman and The Legacy of Faith In The NHL

I’m told that Laurie Boschman is a distant relative of mine. That, however, is not why I am writing about him here.  In a sports league that is much more reserved than its peers, Laurie Boschman has played a significant role in blazing a trail for Christians in the National Hockey League.

Whether it’s that vocally reserved culture of most hockey players, a possible frowning upon of outspoken faith in the league or just a more secular media coverage in Canada than we are used to in the U.S. , you don’t hear too much about an athlete’s personal faith in the NHL. The “PDF” ( Public Display of Faith) is a bit more rare in the good ol’ hockey game.

That’s not always a bad thing – it is, of course, far better to walk the walk than merely talk the talk. But as I have begun to research this topic of Christianity in the NHL (both now and in the past)I have discovered a real legacy of faith amongst some of its most popular players.

I’ve discovered that Bernie “Boom Boom” Geoffrion, inventor of the “slap shot” and winner of 6 Stanley cups with the Canadiens, wrote these words at the end of his autobiography:  “Once upon a time I used to believe that hockey was everything. It isn't. God and family come first. Being happy with the Lord and my family is a lot better than winning 500 Stanley Cups! When you are flat on your back the only place to look is up-to God.”

I’ve discovered that Paul Henderson, scorer of perhaps the most famous hockey goal in Canadian history, found his faith in Jesus Christ through a friend who told him he “hadn’t  (yet) taken care of his soul”. After all the glory days Paul says he still felt bitter, angry and discontent and that, after a long struggle with his pride and fears, he said he finally: “…gave my life to the Lord”.

I’ve discovered that Mike Gartner, one of the game’s best right wingers and member of the 700 goal club, was led to Jesus by none other than Jean Pronovost.  Pronovost  (who himself was led to faith  by Atlanta Flames defensemen Ed Kea and his wife) mentored Gartner in the position and  also invited him to Bible studies at his home. Later , on a flight between games,  Gartner recalls that Jean asked him a very direct question  “ Mike, if this plane goes down, do you know where you will spend eternity?”  In the book,  “Toward the Goal” , Gartner tells of his personal experience with Jesus Christ when “In the quietness of my hotel room, I got on my knees and said : ‘ Lord, if You are real, come into my life now and change me.”  

But now back to Laurie Boschman. His story from top draft pick of the famed Maple Leafs, to being in the club’s doghouse , then back to resuming a successful NHL career and now to current chaplain of the Ottawa Senators and member of Hockey Ministries International is inspiring.

Boschman was born and raised in Saskatchewan and later moved to Manitoba where he played for the WHL’s Brandon Wheat Kings. He played 14 seasons in the NHL for the Leafs, Oilers, Jets, Devils and finally, in 1992 , the expansion Ottawa Senators where he became the first captain in team history.  

It was in Toronto though where he had two profound encounters. The first and most important was meeting and getting to know the Leaf’s forward Ron Ellis. He respected the way Ellis carried himself n and off the ice and finally asked him “What makes you tick?” . Ellis went on to explain his relationship with Christ and the guidance he found in the Bible. Not long after,  Boschman prayed with Ellis , believing and receiving the Gospel.  Similar to the fears of Paul Henderson before him, Laurie said to Ellis as he was leaving “Just don’t tell the other players, OK?”.

The second was much more a trial than a joy. The infamous Harold Ballard was the owner of the Maple Leafs at that time and , like a number of other players, Boschman had his run ins with him. After a poor game at Madison Square Gardens verses the Rangers, Ballard singled him out for his “soft” play – but what’s more he blamed it precisely on his new found Christian faith.

“He said I had too much religion, and that he was going to trade me or send me down to the minors,” says Boschman in a Calgary Herald article.

Some would say that a perceived image of the Christian hockey player as being “soft” started right  then and there. But this image is not held by all. Mike Gartner said that his conversion made him more motivated than ever. “I played to glorify God and I played my best. I felt responsible to God to use the talents and abilities He had given me.”

In the same Calgary Herald article, former NHL’er and now ESPN Analyst Barry Melrose says:  “A lot of people in the hockey world feel you can’t be a big tough physical hockey player and be a Christian, but my history of being around Christians is totally opposite. They’re some of the most fierce competitors there are in the world.”

Boschman’s stats speak for themselves though as he is one of only 16 players to have scored 500 points and amassed over 2,000 penalty minutes in a career.

Since retirement in 1992, Laurie has suffered the loss of his first wife of 21 years to cancer. Of this tragic event he says:  “The reason I was able to survive the days, months and years after I got the news that somebody I loved very deeply had been diagnosed with cancer was my faith. That’s the foundation. Faith in Christ is the foundation for any relationship and for anything that happens inside that relationship. Faith doesn’t take away the tears and the sadness, but it gives us hope and provides us with a foundation to keep on going.”

Boschman is now happily re-married with a blended family and is not only the chaplain for the Ottawa Senators, but the coordinator for all the team chaplaincies in the NHL. In regards to his work ( which is in accordance with his role with the faith organization Hockey Ministries International) he states: “We’re pretty low-key about how we go about the business of faith in hockey,” says Boschman. “We understand that some people still have pre-conceived notions. The bottom line is that the chapel program is player-driven, and the teams who have chapel and who offer it to their players have benefited greatly.”

I was recently talking to one of my pastors ( who just happens to be American) and we were discussing the difference in openly Christian players between the NHL and the other three major North American leagues. He said that he believed one of the biggest reasons was team chaplains or rather the historic lack of them in hockey. If this is true then Hockey Ministries International and Laurie Boschman are on to something.

As it stands today there are a growing number of openly Christian players in the NHL including Jarome Iginla, Mike Fisher, Shane Doan, Eric Staal, Ryan Smyth, David Booth and Dan Hamhuis to name a few. They are respected players who don’t just talk the talk but also walk the walk.

Its been often said that hockey is religion in Canada. If that is indeed the case, then perhaps it will be through the legacy of these players, past and present, that other lovers of the great game may just find their way from the religion of the rink to the gospel of the Cross.

“Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath (crown), but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air.” Paul, 1 Corinthians 9:25-26 (ESV)

Sources:

Bernie Boom Boom Geoffrion :  http://www.hockeyministries.org/rwt-blog-44338

Paul Henderson http://powertochange.com/discover/faith/paulhenderson/

Mike Gartner:  “Toward the Goal” by Cathy Ellis

Laurie Boschman:

Calgary Herald Article: http://www.calgaryherald.com/life/Christians+hockey+coliseum+National+Hockey+League+tentatively+embraces+players+religion/8273238/story.html

http://manitobahockeynews.com/former-jets-star-laurie-boschman-twice-blessed/

Wikipedia

More Info on Christians in the NHL:  https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2796219864124063055&pli=1#editor/target=post;postID=1698163683768725397;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=2;src=postname

Jeremy Lin Quote

On Jeremy Lin's Twitter account:

"To know Him is to want to know Him more..."

J.B. (Jabe) Nicholson Jr.

I listened to this gentleman for many years when I was younger and I still thoroughly enjoy his warm, insightful and brilliant messages... He would never tell you but he has the IQ of a genious.. but more, I think he has is a man after God's own heart...

This man is one of the spiritual giants in my life... one of a handful of people I can say have truly helped shape my faith and right understanding of God 

http://jabenicholson.blogspot.com/

Josh Hamilton - Relapse and Redemption

What a great article on Josh Hamilton.... stumbling in your attempt to walk a healthy righteous life does not make you a failure. I'm amazed at how people attack him after one relapse in years.... for you Christians out there - this man's a believer and needs our prayers ... 

Contrary to popular belief - becoming a Christian doesn't make life a picnic. It usually makes it harder - way way better, but harder...


Its not that Josh Hamilton redeemed himself - Jesus did.


We've got your back Josh!


Original article here:   http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/sports_blog/2012/02/josh-hamilton-relapse-give-the-guy-a-break.html

Sports Now

SPORTS NEWS FROM LOS ANGELES AND BEYOND

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Josh Hamilton relapse: Show some compassion

February 3, 2012 |  8:14 am

It's time to show Josh Hamilton a little compassion. Hamilton, the Texas Rangers' outfielder and a recovering addict, drank alcohol at a Dallas area bar Monday night, according to the Dallas Morning News.

The Rangers released a statement saying they are "aware of a situation, but we do not have further comment at this time."

Meanwhile, this has brought out the worst in some commenters all across the Internet, with many laughing at Hamilton's professed belief that Jesus gives him strength, or thinking "What do you expect from an addict?"

Apparently, teammate Ian Kinsler went to the bar Monday in an attempt to convince Hamilton to leave, which shows you at least one teammate thinks he is worth trying to help.

All we know for sure right now is that Hamilton relapsed for one night. He is tested for drugs three times a week. He had an accountability partner, former coach Jerry Narron, to support him in his recovery, and it's probably no coincidence that the relapse comes after Narron left the team to become the Milwaukee Brewers' hitting coach. His accountability partner leaving is just one of a couple of bad things to happen to Hamilton in the last year.

Last summer, Hamilton threw a foul ball toward fans in the left-field seats at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, Texas, and a man fell to his death as he lost his balance trying to make the catch. The man's young son was standing right next to his father when he fell. That had to have had an effect on Hamilton. Add that tragedy to the disappointment of losing in the World Series for the second year in a row, followed by his accountability partner leaving, and it's easy to see how all those things could lead to a moment of weakness.

But this is the time for people to rally around Hamilton and support him. To understand that he is human, just like the rest of us, and while he made a mistake, it doesn't have to be the end of his world. That we have all had moments of weakness, and we have all needed people to support us during those times, not make fun of us. That we applaud his years of sobriety, and don't add "but you let us all down" to his thought process as he tries to find the right path again.

A little compassion goes a long way. Many people are rallying around Hamilton today, but for those who want to use this to attack him, look in a mirror, and ask yourself if you will ever need anyone to support you one day. 

--Houston Mitchell

Photo: Josh Hamilton of the Rangers during the 2011 season. Credit: Tony Gutierrez / Associated Press.

What the Bible Says about Church or The Invisible Church and the Visible Church

"What the Bible Says about Church: or "The Invisible Church and the Visible Church"

 There seems to be a lot of misconceptions about the the term "church" or "the church" really means or refers to.

This is not meant to be an exhaustive look at the topic of the Christian Church (much smarter people have written much larger works ) but rather a bit of an overview for the curious or confused  or maybe even ( and hopefully) a refreshing look for the embittered veteran.

As is often helpful in defining something, let’s talk about what it is NOT.

The Church is not a building. It is not a steeple and stained glass. It is not bricks and mortar or wood or crystal.

The Church, as the Bible lays it out, is in fact – people.  Human beings.  And to be more specific , human beings who have met Jesus Christ in a very personal way. Who, through reason and experience,  have put their faith in Him, and Him alone, for the redemption of their souls ( this obviously implies that they have first also come to acknowledge their need for redemption).

It has been rightly said that the Church is not an organization, it is an organism. 

 In other words, it is made up of people in community and fellowship centered on the Person of Jesus Christ. And, like spokes in a wheel, the closer these people get to Christ, the closer they get to each other.

The Greek word used in the Bible for church is “ekklesia”  which literally means “called out ones”.

Strong’s Greek Dictionary:

1)      a gathering of citizens called out from their homes into some public place, an assembly

d) in a Christian sense

1) an assembly of Christians gathered for worship in a religious meeting

4) the whole body of Christians scattered throughout the earth

5) the assembly of faithful Christians already dead and received into heaven

Notice the first two Christian definitions – one is a singular gathering at a specific location which we shall refer to as the “local church”.

The other is all Christians ( i.e. true believer’s in Jesus Christ) throughout the world. We refer to this as the “Universal Church” and this term often includes the third group -  those already in Heaven – amongst its number.

Vine’s Expository Greek Dictionary expands on the concept of a “Local” and a “Universal” Church:

(a) (Universal) to the whole company of the redeemed throughout the present era, the company of which Christ said, "I will build My Church," Mat 16:18, and which is further described as "the Church which is His Body," Eph 1:22; 5:23,

(b) (Local) in the singular number (e.g., Mat 18:17, RV marg., "congregation"), to a company consisting of professed believers, e.g., Act 20:28; 1Cr 1:2; Gal 1:13; 1Th 1:1; 2Th 1:1; 1Ti 3:5, and in the plural, with reference to churches in a district.

An interesting thing to note is that the word “catholic” simply means “universal” and so the early church was simply called the Catholic Church.

However, throughout history and especially during the time of the reformation ( in the 15^th century) , there were those who believed that the “catholic” (more specifically the Roman Catholic)  church had strayed from Biblical teaching, imposed its own rules and at times became corrupt. 

When we think of the terms “The Church” or the “Roman Catholic Church” as portrayed throughout history and even in today’s view – we must realize that this is not necessarily a true or accurate representation of “the Ekklesia” . 

One way theologians make this distinction about the Church is that of the “visible Church” and the “invisible Church”.

As we have established above, the church is made up of all true believing humans. Though we can see the outward lifestyles and confessions of people, we cannot see their inward heart and therefore cannot know in an absolute way who is and is not part of this Biblical, “ invisible Church”.

The visible Church, on the other hand,  would be the official organization, the building etc… but just because it is concrete in nature, or official with the government, does not mean it is real in spirit. 

The “visible Church” is often what we hear of in the history books and the media but it is not necessarily reflective of Jesus’ teachings.

There are no doubt many true believers in the visible church but there are also false Christians – fakers, phonies, posers. 

Ghandi noted this when He said “ “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

If you are a Christian, let this not be said of you  - we should all strive to be LIKE Christ.

Thankfully the Bible assures us that

2Ti 2:19 Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: "The Lord knows those who are His," and, "Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity."

and this is the sum of the Invisible Church

This is not to say we cannot objectively judge a person’s lifestyle and the sincerity of their faith – but our measurements are inevitably finite.

Today we are aware of the distinctions between the Roman Catholic Church, the Eastern Orthodox Church ( much of Greece)  the mainline Protestant churches ( i.e. Anglican, United, …) and the Evangelicals you hear so much about in the States but who have really existed for many years in many forms and in many countries ( Baptist, Pentecostal, Mennonite Brethren, Alliance etc….)

(By the way for full disclosure, I would fall under the “Evangelical” category. For more on this term see :   )

You may be surprised to learn that of all the ceremonies, customs  and traditions that can be found in churches , the only two that Jesus  instituted  absolutely were baptism and communion ( also known as “The Lord’s Supper” or the “Eucharist” )

(*Note – Most Protestant and Evangelical churches believe that the bread and wine ( or grape juice) of communion are symbolic of Jesus’ broken body and shed blood while the Roman Catholic Church and some others believe it literally becomes Jesus’ flesh and blood … as I said, I heartily take the Evangelical view as I believe it to be the Biblical one.)

One thing they all agree on is The Trinity – in other words, a Triune God  - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. 

Dr. Wayne Grudem in his Systematic Theology gives a point form definition of this incredibly important but sometimes hard to be understood doctrine.

1)      God is the Persons

2)      Each Person is fully and equally God

3)      There is one God

That is a very brief summary of what a systematic and contextual look at Scripture clearly teaches.

And as this doctrine implies, the Son – Who is Jesus Christ – is fully and equally God.

Referred to as the “Deity” of Jesus, this teaching is at the heart and foundation of Christianity . 

In true Christianity , Jesus Christ is no less than the Almighty Creator God.

This is indeed the dividing line between what is “Christian” and what is not.

Speaking of Jesus Christ and the Church, Paul writes:

Eph 2:17 And He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near
Eph 2:18 For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father.
Eph 2:19 Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God,
Eph 2:20 having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone,
Eph 2:21 in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord,
Eph 2:22 in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.

Another 2 defining marks of a true Christian church is that it believes and teaches the Bible as the sole and infallible Word of God and that it is attempting to function as a church by having communion and baptizing believers ( the latter would be the difference between an independent Bible study and a church in progress).

This would be true of both the local independent church around the corner or a large international organization claiming to be Christian.

Mat 16:15 He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"
Mat 16:16 Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."
Mat 16:17 Jesus answered and said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed [this] to you, but My Father who is in heaven.
Mat 16:18 "And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.

Eph 1:22 And He (God the Father)  put all things under His (Jesus’ )feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church,
Eph 1:23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

It’s important to note that it was Jesus , Himself , who founded the Church  and Who is it’s Head. and bid us partake in this particular form of community.  So to say we love Jesus and then refuse to go to any type of Biblical Christ-honouring church is really just hypocritical.

Many say that their church is “the outdoors” or “nature”.  To be sure, taking in Creation can indeed be a worshipful experience – incredibly so actually. I can attest to that personally.

 However, that alone is not enough. It is not community and it is not what Jesus’ meant when he founded the church.  

Act 2:42 And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.
Act 2:43 Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles.
Act 2:44 Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common,
Act 2:45 and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.
Act 2:46 So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart,
Act 2:47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church   daily those who were being saved.

You can see that in the first verse we see 4 hallmarks of the church – “they continued steadfastly in”:

1)      The apostles' doctrine (i.e. The teaching and explaining and life application of the Bible)

2)       and fellowship (community, meeting together, being accountable to one another and loving each other)

3)       in the breaking of bread (communion)

4)      and in prayers (praying together as a group for each other and all those in the world etc…)

Well, much more could be said but for the sake of simplicity and readability I think I will leave things there. Please feel free to comment if you see anything that doesn’t fit Biblically or is missing .

Imagine: John Lennon, Cee Lo Green & Jesus Christ

John Lennon: "No religion" (Imagine)

Cee Lo Green: "All Religion" (Imagine)

Jesus Christ: "And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. " (John 17:3)

Bono's Theology

An excerpt from an interview with Bono of the band U2 - you may not like his music, you may not agree with his lifestyle but I thought this was worth sharing.. ( still can't get past the swearing ;)



Bono: ... It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma.

Assayas: I haven't heard you talk about that.

Bono: I really believe we've moved out of the realm of Karma into one of Grace.

Assayas: Well, that doesn't make it clearer for me.

Bono: You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics—in physical laws—every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff **( my note, that verse still applies to the practice of a Christian but their entrance into Heaven is not dependent on it). Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

Assayas: I'd be interested to hear that.

Bono: That's between me and God. But I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep s---. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity.

Assayas: The Son of God who takes away the sins of the world. I wish I could believe in that.

Bono: But I love the idea of the Sacrificial Lamb. I love the idea that God says: Look, you cretins, there are certain results to the way we are, to selfishness, and there's a mortality as part of your very sinful nature, and, let's face it, you're not living a very good life, are you? There are consequences to actions. The point of the death of Christ is that Christ took on the sins of the world, so that what we put out did not come back to us, and that our sinful nature does not reap the obvious death. That's the point. It should keep us humbled… . It's not our own good works that get us through the gates of heaven.

Assayas: That's a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it's close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has his rank among the world's great thinkers. But Son of God, isn't that farfetched?

Bono: No, it's not farfetched to me. Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: he was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn't allow you that. He doesn't let you off that hook. Christ says: No. I'm not saying I'm a teacher, don't call me teacher. I'm not saying I'm a prophet. I'm saying: "I'm the Messiah." I'm saying: "I am God incarnate." And people say: No, no, please, just be a prophet. A prophet, we can take. You're a bit eccentric. We've had John the Baptist eating locusts and wild honey, we can handle that. But don't mention the "M" word! Because, you know, we're gonna have to crucify you. And he goes: No, no. I know you're expecting me to come back with an army, and set you free from these creeps, but actually I am the Messiah. At this point, everyone starts staring at their shoes, and says: Oh, my God, he's gonna keep saying this. So what you're left with is: either Christ was who He said He was—the Messiah—or a complete nutcase......This man was like some of the people we've been talking about earlier. This man ..... had "King of the Jews" on his head, and, as they were putting him up on the Cross, was going: OK, martyrdom, here we go. Bring on the pain! I can take it. I'm not joking here. The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that's farfetched …

From:
Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas (Riverhead Books)

Mat 16:13	When Jesus came into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, saying, "Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?"
	Mat 16:14	So they said, "Some [say] John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets."
	Mat 16:15	He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"
	Mat 16:16	Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."
	Mat 16:17	Jesus answered and said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed [this] to you, but My Father who is in heaven.

On the Sacredness of Marriage

 Let me begin by saying this "artiblog" ( article + blog ?) is not  about ranting about homosexuality, polygamy or divorce so much as it is about re-enforcing and understanding the reasons behind  the definition of marriage as found in the Bible and throughout history.

The definition not just of what the family unit looks like but also what it means and why it is so important.

What I would really like to do  is to look at a certain cornerstone-type phrase that is repeated three distinct times in the Bible.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”

 This  declaration occurs:

> First at the very beginning of time (Genesis).

> It is re-iterated and validated again by Jesus Christ  (Matthew, Mark)

> And finally, in the great passage on marriage by the Apostle Paul (Ephesians), it is used again to to not only confirm the standard but also to bring life and meaning to this particular relationship.  

These instances in the context of their passages are found near the end of the post.

*(It is also referenced in 1 Corinthians 6:16)

“Traditional Marriage”  as defined by Webster’s today is

(1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law

Webster’s has other definitions of course of modern adaptations such as Common-law and Same Sex.

Polygamy has not made it in yet.

I readily acknowledge that there are many “traditional” marriages that are broken and ugly – full of hurt and hate and hypocrisy . 

I understand that there are many single parents, divorcees and various peoples in love who may or may not be in their situation due to their own actions – and even if they are there due to their own actions, I am most certainly NOT here to personally judge.

I know that my marriage is an awesome but always vulnerable thing.  It takes hard work and selflessness and neither me nor my wife have this all figured out – far from it.  It  is only the grace of God that keeps things surviving…. and leads us to the ideal of marriage – when its thriving.

As for some reasons for this standard outside the Bible?

Not to be too vulgar, but we cannot ignore the natural biology and anatomy of the human race.

Then there is the fact that history tells us that the “traditional” marriage and thus the family unit has been the corner stone of pretty much every successful society and civilization.  ( note – I am very aware of the polygamy practiced in the Old Testament and history– I have addressed it a bit below )

Nor can we really deny the effect that broken homes have had on all members of the family – its hard, it hurts and it can develop into a generational cycle.

We are all broken in some way or other - even those who appear to be in "socially" or "church" acceptable relationships . But all situations can, I believe, be redeemed and reconciled by Jesus Christ.

Let's go back to that cornerstone statement though:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”

A quick look at the word “joined”

Hebrew:   dabaq

1) to cling, stick, stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch

Greek:   proskollaō

1) to glue upon, glue to

2) to join one's self to closely, cleave to, stick to

My friend Larry who is both a Pastor and a life long Contractor gave a compelling illustration of that word the other day .

He spoke of when he used a proper adhesive glue when “joining” two boards together and letting them cure.   If he tried to take those  two pieces of wood apart after that, it was near impossible – but if he did succeed then both boards would be splintered and broken.

Such is the marriage bond.

Let me just re-iterate here , I realize people from all kinds of situations and backgrounds may be reading this – and I’m not here to make you feel worse then you may already.  I'm a broken man in constant need of the grace of God and I'm not here to personaly judge you.

 There is forgiveness and redemption available in all situations and God loves you and understands you – but it doesn’t change His definition of marriage.

Following are the three passages of Scripture I spoke of earlier.  Skim them if you need too but I would suggesting reading them through  if at all possible.

 There is more commentary below as well that is tantamount to the full purpose of this post...

The Beginning

Gen 2:20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
Gen 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.
Gen 2:22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
Gen 2:23 And Adam said: "This [is] now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man."
Gen 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Gen 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Jesus Christ

Mat 19:3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for [just] any reason?"
Mat 19:4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at 

the beginning 'made them male and female,' 

Mat 19:5 "and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and 

the two shall become one flesh'?
Mat 19:6 "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
Mat 19:7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
Mat 19:8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
Mat 19:9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality,  and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

 The Great Marriage Passage

Eph 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
Eph 5:26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
Eph 5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord [does] the church.
Eph 5:30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
Eph 5:31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife [see] that she respects [her] husband.

After looking at those passages there are a couple things to note.

One -  The Pharisees approached Jesus on the topic of marriage and He responded.  Some will say that Jesus never condemned homosexuality -  but here in this passage it is clear that He is ratifying the definition of marriage given “from the beginning” .

He is re-confirming God’s original design for marriage – 1 man, 1 woman, 1 lifetime – to the exclusion of all others.

You may be upset by this statement but its not  I who am stating it – It was first the Creator as recorded in the Old Testament and then the Lord Jesus. 

And you must realize that when Jesus says some of these hard things,  He is also full of compassion and forgiveness and help – if you want it.

Note the phrase “It was not so from the beginning”.   Moses offered a certificate of divorce* because of the hardness of their hearts – but this was not God’s original design or intention.

I think it is reasonable to conclude that the same is true of polygamy in the Old Testament– not God’s design or intention. It is certainly found no where in the New Testament.

For further examination of the topic of Old Testament polygamy please see this link:  http://www.gotquestions.org/polygamy.html

(* Note:  There are only two legitimate reasons given for divorce 

combined with re-marriage in the New Testament.  

> The death of one's spouse - Romans 7

> And the act of "sexual immorality" committed by one's spouse - Matthew 19:9)

The second thing is what I think 

people really miss. 

It is the heart and reason behind the rule.

As we read the Bible , especially that last passage from Ephesians, we realize that there is more than just the physical and temporal to marriage.

It is not designed out of thin air but rather it is a mirror of a powerful epic -  a living illustration of a human being’s very relationship to God Himself.

After repeating for the third time the great marriage design…. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

Paul goes on to say:

 “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”

You can go back and read the passage but I’ll pull one line out of it for now:

“ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her..”

“Just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her” – this is no mom and pop just “staying together for the kid’s sake” kind of thing– this is far beyond that.

It is spiritual, it is heavenly, it is eternal.  It is talking about the very redemption of humankind.

The church is simply those people who have put their faith in Jesus as the sole Saviour of their souls.   And the church, collectively,  is likened to a Bride and Jesus, the Bridegroom.

Rev 19:7 "Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready."

 Rev 19:9 Then he said to me, "Write: 'Blessed [are] those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!' " And he said to me, "These are the true sayings of God."

Marriage, like other relationships built into our physical, emotional and spiritual DNA, is meant for so much more – it is meant to give a foretaste of the overwhelming love and intimacy we can have now - and will have even more so after this life  - with our Creator.

No wonder marriage is sacred…. on so many levels.