Love ‘em and Tell ‘em the Truth – Tales of a Youth Leader.

I’ve had the privilege and blessing of leading three distinct youth groups in my life so far. I was going to write a few lines on that topic and specifically the title  - and then, as it often does,  it got a little longer....

The first – Prince George Gospel Chapel Youth.  My home church ( although I grew up in Valemount, 3 hours away) .   It was a small church made up of a tight knit group of believers and a proportionately large group of kids who were entering their teen yeas. 

I’m not sure I had thought of being a youth leader  "per se" before then , but I was asked if I would do it and the love in my heart for the role immediately grew.  I had actually , initially,  felt the call to be some type of Bible counselor  - but I soon realized that being a church youth leader is very much like being a Bible / Life counselor. 

I was only about 19 but with the guidance of the elders I took it on.  The group was made up of mainly “lifers”  - in other words kids who grew up in Christian homes and claimed Christianity  since a young age.  Sometimes "lifers" are misjudged. People figure they are from good Christian homes so they'll be fine.  While it is a tremendous blessing to have good parents, i can personally attest that it does not exempt you from the pitfalls of life - these kids need as much care as anyone. ( For more on "lifers" you may want to read When I understood grace... or at least began to  )

I loved ( and continue to love) these kids dearly. Today they are either somewhere in their careers, university grads, married  - and some have kids older than my own!  We had great memories and, although I know I was young and inexperienced and was not always the perfect youth leader , I trust God used those years to bless them and grow His Kingdom.

The second – threecrosses youth group, Valemount, BC.  After finishing my diploma at the College of New Caledonia  and living in Denver, Colorado for a year,  I went about to find a job.  I ended up back in my very small hometown of Valemount .  I worked at the new and beautiful Holiday Inn and , remembering  how hard it was to grow up in a small isolated town myself, I wanted to reach out to those who were experiencing that now.

This was a decidedly different group of kids – most of them “unchurched” as they say.  A bit edgier and decidedly into Hip Hop culture ( despite their lack of melanin ;) .   Family backgrounds were different ,  the size of the town was different , it was all different – but it was awesome.

I came up with the name “threecrosses” from the story in Luke where Jesus hung between two thieves – one mocked Him, the other recognized His innocence and Almighty power masked behind the humility of this human form. The question I posed to those youth was – “Which thief are you?” .   

I was fortunate enough to come across some incredible Christian Hip Hop music ( specifically a young group of men from Philadelphia called “Crossmovement” ) and that, combined with pop culture references from movies and music etc I did my best to teach them the over all story of the Bible or as we called it  “God’s Drama”.  My poor parents graciously opened their house once a week to this horde of teenagers - after mom put away the breakables.

We went on basketball trips, played town wide games, and finally went to a Crossmovement concert live in downtown Vancouver.  So many memories, so many good times and like the group before – so many lessons learned from the youth themselves. 

I, along with a local Pastor ( shout out to Pastor Ted! ) , had the honour of baptizing 4 kids in the pool of the Holiday Inn that year. 

Something else very special happened that year as well – I met ( or re-met) my future wife , Sherry .  We were both from Valeount but being 6 ears apart didn’t really know each other growing up ( probably a good thing ;) .  But now Sherry was all grown up and was on a Drama Team travelling through the area raising awareness of the persecuted church overseas. I asked if they would do their performance for the youth group… and the rest is history. Sherry came alongside me as a youth leader ( and a role model for the girls) and tirelessly prepared for and cleaned up after all the events.

The third – Grace Bible Church Youth.  Sherry and I were now married ( having 3 young men from threecrosses and one from Prince George as our Ushers ) and living in Vernon, BC.  We began attending a church that ended up being Grace Bible Church – which was to me a large church ( 200 + or so). 

I had had significant health issues recently with depression, anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I didn’t know if I would ever lead a youth group again.  In time, God made such a thing possible and I entered into yet another type of youth group leadership. This group was from a larger church, some went to Christian school and their were many other fun and exciting youth groups in the area. It could be said I went from “unchurched” to “overchurched” - if there is such a thing.

As Sherry and I slowly learned the dynamics of the youth, we began a Sunday night Bible study.  Their was not usually a ton of kids but they were a great and tight group.  I learned , both through my personal weakness and some years of experience I guess, to let the kids be more involved in the discussion of the life lessons we were hoping to teach.

We became a sort of youth “care group” where we were challenged in our faith, learned how to defend it in a postmodern world , discussed personal issues we were facing and then prayed for each other and others. 

Many fun events were had as well – but I think these Sunday night are what I treasure most.  

Though these were three very distinct youth groups, there was a common motto lived by through out them.  “Love ‘em and tell ‘em the truth”. 

I had heard this phrase from a preacher as he was recalling a youth leader he meant once. The man in question was middle aged, a bit over weight and balding and the preacher wondered why the kids were so drawn to him – after all he didn’t fit the typical profile of a church youth leader / pastor. You know the one – Young, athletic, good looking,  outgoing and really really amped about everything… probably a surfer or a star basketball player... maybe a rock star.

This , of course , is the only type of person the kids ould relate to right?  Unfortunately this was the thinking of many a church back then. 

So when the preacher asked him what his secret was – why the kids came out to his youth groups so much and seemed to love them , and him , so much - the man said “All I know is you gotta love ‘em and tell ‘em the truth”. 

And apparently that worked. Apparently it still does . Some folks nowadays say we don’t need youth groups, that they ‘ve become just a big entertainment production with no substance. I’m sure there are some out there like that – but we must not throw the baby out with the bathwater, or in this case – the teenager.

I’m a big believer that all ages should be intermingled in a church and learn from each other. But there is no question to me, that teenagers, like children in Sunday School, married couples  or seniors, need a special place for them.

Adolescence is a complicated and confusing maze, filled with change and often pain. Its struggling to find an identity – and there are many sellers of identities out there.  We need to help them find their identity in Christ.

There is nothing wrong with some entertainment or fun – it just needs to be combined with the substance of Gods Word,  deepening interpersonal relationships, prayer and going out to further the Kingdom of God.

So now I have just stepped down from this last youth group – but not from the lives of the kids. I think ( and hope) that I will always have a heart’s desire to help the young person struggling to find an identity, wanting to be loved and accepted for who they are and challenged in who they can become.  I thinks its important for all of us to have a heart to be a father of the fatherless or a mother to the motherless as the case may be.

Its also important of course not to burn ourselves out as leaders.  I was taught that no matter our age, we should all have 3 types of people in our lives  - a mentor, a peer and a disciple ( a younger person you can be a role model and help to).

You see this in the case of the Apostle Paul, who was mentored by Gamaliel, had a deep brotherly love and friendship with people like Barnabas and Silas and who also was a great mentor to a new generation of leaders like Timothy and Titus.

So I have now been blessed with a beautiful daughter and I am focusing not as much on other people's kids – but now my own. 


I think that this principle of love and truth will work well in parenting too and I know one thing for sure – as my daughter ages I hope she has positive role models in her life, people who aren’t her parents but who love her and teach her to love God.


If God used me, my wife and fellow leaders and other leaders to do this in  someone's life - then it was for His glory , by His grace - and it was motivated out of His deep love for us personally.

We’ll see what the next chapter brings!

Eph 4:15

but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head--Christ..

To Save a Life - Movie Review

This is a powerful movie that deals with bullying, teen suicide, and teen pregnancy as well as hypocrisy in the Church and yes, even youth groups. These topics seem to be at the forefront of the lives of teens these days.

 It is surprisingly realistic. The writer obviously had great insights into both the high school world and the church world.

I highly recommend that teens, parents of teens and anyone works with or mentors teens  see this movie! I showed it to a group of 14 youth and young adults ( Christian and non) and while, at first, some of them were quite skeptical , there were was soon intense attention paid to what was happening.. tears, laughter and an amazing message were all experienced.. After the movie everyone agreed that it was very well done and had a very powerful message that is so relevant for today’s youth.

You can check out a trailer and more at this link:   http://tosavealifemovie.com/ 

Some things you should know about this movie:

This is a Christian production, but unlike some others in the past, it is very well done.With great filming, great acting, storyline and character development – this movie is not at all cheesy or corny – seriously! No, SERIOUSLY!

Although a Christian production, it is not too preachy. I think the values and message of this movie would be enjoyed by and would benefit  all people, religious or otherwise.

Although the movie is ripe with Christianity, I don’t think someone would fully understand how to be redeemed ( spiritually speaking) just from watching this movie. A great answer to this is to give a short, clear Gospel message at the end.

In an attempt to be somewhat authentic, there are a few minor swear words in the movie as well as a scene suggesting that sex is about to take place. This is all done in the context of the character learning what is godly and what is not.

I have been able to find this movie at Blockbuster for rental or purchase as well as Amazon and other online sites.

Just a note on some other very well done faith-based movies:

Fireproof – a very realistic story of the somewhat overwhelming challenges faced in marriage.

Soul Surfer – the true story of Bethany Hamilton , now a pro surfer, who lost her arm in a shark attack and has inspired many many youth and others.