Time Is Energy (and the principle of Chronos and Kairos)

The Greeks (and therefore the New Testament) had two very distinct words for “time” .  One we are probably familiar with – Chronos. As in chronology, chronicles, chronic pain etc…

The other word , not so much. It is “Kairos” .

The simplest way to distinguish the meanings of these two words is probably the following example from Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Greek Words:

Chronos marks quantity, kairos, quality

Chronos is the seconds and minutes of time - either long or short. Kairos is a portion of time, the "things and events of time" (Strong's Concordance).  The English word "moment" might be a good way to describe it.

I recently read a blog by a young mother who used these two words to distinguish “time”.  She had become frustrated when older women would constantly come up to her and say something like “Cherish this time with your children! Its over so fast”

To her this somehow conveyed that she was not doing a good enough job “cherishing” or enjoying this time in her life when she had young children.  She was so stressed out just trying to keep them fed, clean and generally safe that she was not always “feeling the cherishing” .   And so she felt like a failure, like she didn’t love her kids enough or didn’t appreciate all that she had.

 The older ladies I’m sure did not mean to make her feel this way but such is the translation that can occur between one person’s mouth and another’s ear.

I know a bit of what this young mother feels, as does my wife. We are parents of an adorable, incredible and wonderful 11 month old daughter.

But man, its hard.

Having a child changed our world completely. It takes you to a level of selflessness you never knew existed.  And you get tired – real tired.

In talking with friends in similar stages of life and those who have done it before, there is a consensus that this is indeed the most stressful and busy time in a person’s life. 

Feeling guilty about not “cherishing” the time you have with your kids is, ironically, a waste of time. Not to mention energy and emotion. 

What this young mother eventually realized ( and I think what the older ladies were really probably referring to all along) was that this is not about cherishing the every second of the CHRONOS so much as it is cherishing all of the KAIROS.

Those precious moments when you realize how fortunate you are, how awesome and kind your Creator is, how wonderfully and fearfully your spouse and child were made  - when all the beauty just leaves you gasping for air. 

" As a person with a mental illness, time is not always my problem.  In fact, it rarely is. My problem is energy. "

One more thing before I sign off this post.  As a person with a mental illness, time is not always my problem.  In fact, it rarely is. My problem is energy. 

I usually have the time – but I rarely have the energy to do all the things I think I should do, much less the things I want to do.This is hard for most people to understand, and even harder to explain.

It’s not good when other people began to think that you are actually just lazy or selfish, it’s even  worse when you yourself begin to believe it.

I'm sure people with a wide variety of illnesses can relate to this.

But what I have found is that this principle of time we have been discussing also applies to energy.

I don’t always plan ahead very much because the more pressure there is to have a good time, the less likely it is for me to actually have a good time. This, of course, can make others understandably frustrated at my apparent lack of commitment or interest and I often feel terrible about that.

You can just forget about yourself and try and fake it for your family and friends – but eventually they catch on ( especially your wife).  And, of course, you yourself eventually wear down.

Fortunately many of friends do understand this. One example is where a good friend asked me to be in his wedding party - a truly high honour! To my dismay I realized this was n't going to work very well though - I would just end up being a mess leading up to and during the wedding. So I explained this to him and he very graciously understood.

I was able instead to attend the wedding as a guest and put that precious "energy" into doing what I could to make his day very special.

So what I have learned, and my gracious, loving wife has too – is that we often enjoy our moments the most when they happen somewhat spontaneously or without a lot of pomp and ceremony. When in a “kairos” of time (or energy as the case may be) , all the beauty of life and God and family comes into focus.. and you can see clearly.

How sweet are those moments. How sweet is clarity.

Though I truly am thankful for every minute of life…. I really cherish those ones.

 See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time (KAIROS), because the days are evil.

 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 

Ephesians 5: 15 - 17   

Love ‘em and Tell ‘em the Truth – Tales of a Youth Leader.

I’ve had the privilege and blessing of leading three distinct youth groups in my life so far. I was going to write a few lines on that topic and specifically the title  - and then, as it often does,  it got a little longer....

The first – Prince George Gospel Chapel Youth.  My home church ( although I grew up in Valemount, 3 hours away) .   It was a small church made up of a tight knit group of believers and a proportionately large group of kids who were entering their teen yeas. 

I’m not sure I had thought of being a youth leader  "per se" before then , but I was asked if I would do it and the love in my heart for the role immediately grew.  I had actually , initially,  felt the call to be some type of Bible counselor  - but I soon realized that being a church youth leader is very much like being a Bible / Life counselor. 

I was only about 19 but with the guidance of the elders I took it on.  The group was made up of mainly “lifers”  - in other words kids who grew up in Christian homes and claimed Christianity  since a young age.  Sometimes "lifers" are misjudged. People figure they are from good Christian homes so they'll be fine.  While it is a tremendous blessing to have good parents, i can personally attest that it does not exempt you from the pitfalls of life - these kids need as much care as anyone. ( For more on "lifers" you may want to read When I understood grace... or at least began to  )

I loved ( and continue to love) these kids dearly. Today they are either somewhere in their careers, university grads, married  - and some have kids older than my own!  We had great memories and, although I know I was young and inexperienced and was not always the perfect youth leader , I trust God used those years to bless them and grow His Kingdom.

The second – threecrosses youth group, Valemount, BC.  After finishing my diploma at the College of New Caledonia  and living in Denver, Colorado for a year,  I went about to find a job.  I ended up back in my very small hometown of Valemount .  I worked at the new and beautiful Holiday Inn and , remembering  how hard it was to grow up in a small isolated town myself, I wanted to reach out to those who were experiencing that now.

This was a decidedly different group of kids – most of them “unchurched” as they say.  A bit edgier and decidedly into Hip Hop culture ( despite their lack of melanin ;) .   Family backgrounds were different ,  the size of the town was different , it was all different – but it was awesome.

I came up with the name “threecrosses” from the story in Luke where Jesus hung between two thieves – one mocked Him, the other recognized His innocence and Almighty power masked behind the humility of this human form. The question I posed to those youth was – “Which thief are you?” .   

I was fortunate enough to come across some incredible Christian Hip Hop music ( specifically a young group of men from Philadelphia called “Crossmovement” ) and that, combined with pop culture references from movies and music etc I did my best to teach them the over all story of the Bible or as we called it  “God’s Drama”.  My poor parents graciously opened their house once a week to this horde of teenagers - after mom put away the breakables.

We went on basketball trips, played town wide games, and finally went to a Crossmovement concert live in downtown Vancouver.  So many memories, so many good times and like the group before – so many lessons learned from the youth themselves. 

I, along with a local Pastor ( shout out to Pastor Ted! ) , had the honour of baptizing 4 kids in the pool of the Holiday Inn that year. 

Something else very special happened that year as well – I met ( or re-met) my future wife , Sherry .  We were both from Valeount but being 6 ears apart didn’t really know each other growing up ( probably a good thing ;) .  But now Sherry was all grown up and was on a Drama Team travelling through the area raising awareness of the persecuted church overseas. I asked if they would do their performance for the youth group… and the rest is history. Sherry came alongside me as a youth leader ( and a role model for the girls) and tirelessly prepared for and cleaned up after all the events.

The third – Grace Bible Church Youth.  Sherry and I were now married ( having 3 young men from threecrosses and one from Prince George as our Ushers ) and living in Vernon, BC.  We began attending a church that ended up being Grace Bible Church – which was to me a large church ( 200 + or so). 

I had had significant health issues recently with depression, anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I didn’t know if I would ever lead a youth group again.  In time, God made such a thing possible and I entered into yet another type of youth group leadership. This group was from a larger church, some went to Christian school and their were many other fun and exciting youth groups in the area. It could be said I went from “unchurched” to “overchurched” - if there is such a thing.

As Sherry and I slowly learned the dynamics of the youth, we began a Sunday night Bible study.  Their was not usually a ton of kids but they were a great and tight group.  I learned , both through my personal weakness and some years of experience I guess, to let the kids be more involved in the discussion of the life lessons we were hoping to teach.

We became a sort of youth “care group” where we were challenged in our faith, learned how to defend it in a postmodern world , discussed personal issues we were facing and then prayed for each other and others. 

Many fun events were had as well – but I think these Sunday night are what I treasure most.  

Though these were three very distinct youth groups, there was a common motto lived by through out them.  “Love ‘em and tell ‘em the truth”. 

I had heard this phrase from a preacher as he was recalling a youth leader he meant once. The man in question was middle aged, a bit over weight and balding and the preacher wondered why the kids were so drawn to him – after all he didn’t fit the typical profile of a church youth leader / pastor. You know the one – Young, athletic, good looking,  outgoing and really really amped about everything… probably a surfer or a star basketball player... maybe a rock star.

This , of course , is the only type of person the kids ould relate to right?  Unfortunately this was the thinking of many a church back then. 

So when the preacher asked him what his secret was – why the kids came out to his youth groups so much and seemed to love them , and him , so much - the man said “All I know is you gotta love ‘em and tell ‘em the truth”. 

And apparently that worked. Apparently it still does . Some folks nowadays say we don’t need youth groups, that they ‘ve become just a big entertainment production with no substance. I’m sure there are some out there like that – but we must not throw the baby out with the bathwater, or in this case – the teenager.

I’m a big believer that all ages should be intermingled in a church and learn from each other. But there is no question to me, that teenagers, like children in Sunday School, married couples  or seniors, need a special place for them.

Adolescence is a complicated and confusing maze, filled with change and often pain. Its struggling to find an identity – and there are many sellers of identities out there.  We need to help them find their identity in Christ.

There is nothing wrong with some entertainment or fun – it just needs to be combined with the substance of Gods Word,  deepening interpersonal relationships, prayer and going out to further the Kingdom of God.

So now I have just stepped down from this last youth group – but not from the lives of the kids. I think ( and hope) that I will always have a heart’s desire to help the young person struggling to find an identity, wanting to be loved and accepted for who they are and challenged in who they can become.  I thinks its important for all of us to have a heart to be a father of the fatherless or a mother to the motherless as the case may be.

Its also important of course not to burn ourselves out as leaders.  I was taught that no matter our age, we should all have 3 types of people in our lives  - a mentor, a peer and a disciple ( a younger person you can be a role model and help to).

You see this in the case of the Apostle Paul, who was mentored by Gamaliel, had a deep brotherly love and friendship with people like Barnabas and Silas and who also was a great mentor to a new generation of leaders like Timothy and Titus.

So I have now been blessed with a beautiful daughter and I am focusing not as much on other people's kids – but now my own. 


I think that this principle of love and truth will work well in parenting too and I know one thing for sure – as my daughter ages I hope she has positive role models in her life, people who aren’t her parents but who love her and teach her to love God.


If God used me, my wife and fellow leaders and other leaders to do this in  someone's life - then it was for His glory , by His grace - and it was motivated out of His deep love for us personally.

We’ll see what the next chapter brings!

Eph 4:15

but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head--Christ..

50 Rules for Dads of Daughters {by Michael Mitchell}

Wow  - I can't believe how much I love this :) 

50 Rules for Dads of Daughters {by Michael Mitchell}

About Michael 
Michael Mitchell is an (almost) thirty-something dad who blogs daily tips and life lessons for dads of daughters at lifetoheryears.com. He spends his days practicing the arts of fatherhood and husbandry, while attempting to be a man of God and a professional raiser of philanthropic funds. On the rare occasion he’s not tied up with the aforementioned and other pursuits of awesomeness, he enjoys fighting street gangs for local charities and drinking from a cup that’s half full. Bookmark Life To Her Years, follow Michael on Twitter, and “like” him on Facebook for more “rules”.

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1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

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2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.

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3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.

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4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.

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5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.

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6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.

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7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.

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8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.

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9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.

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10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.

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11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”

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12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.

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13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.

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14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.

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Photo Credit :: Danielle Rocke Toews

15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.

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16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.

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17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.

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18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.

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19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.

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20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.

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21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.

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22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.

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23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.

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24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.

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25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.

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26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.

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27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.

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28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.

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29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.

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30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.

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31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.

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32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.

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33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.

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34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.

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35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.

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36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

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37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.

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38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.

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39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.

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40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.

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41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.

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42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.

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43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.

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44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.

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45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.

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46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.

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47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

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48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.

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49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.

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50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.

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Photo Credits can be found at the bottom of Michael’s original post.

Should Women Rule the World?

 Now that I've got your attention, this is not about feminism or chauvinism.  Rather its about a short conversation I recently had with an older friend.

We were discussing the new arrival of my child ( 5.5 months :) and the upcoming arrival of his in September.

I had mentioned how amazed I was at the process of conception, pregnancy, birth, breast feeding and everything that goes along with having a baby and specifically being a mother.

He noddingly agreed and then said to me " You know, I often think that we should have more women world leaders."

I  inquired why.

He said ( and I paraphrase a bit due to memory)  " They know how difficult and miraculous it is to bring a human into the world - I think they'd be much less likely to engage in wars and such that take a human out of it."

I thought - "Wow, thats an amazing insight."

And thats why I thought I would share it with you in this blog post.

The lesson here for me is threefold ( at least)

Women are amazing.  Life is sacred.  And men need to tune in a bit more to this.

As men we need to not just be worried about reproducing an heir but more so on being a role model for that child and raising, disciplining and nurturing them ( I can think of a few kings in history who could have worked on that).

Its been said, somewhat crudely but very accurately, that " Any dick can make a baby, it takes a man to raise a child."

I'm hoping and praying I can be that father my daughter ( and wife) needs, all the time recognizing that I need my own Heavenly Father to accomplish that.....


"Lead Me" by Sanctus Real :