Some Practical Advice when in Depression and Despair

So I’m not a professional counselor and am not offering professional advice but rather advice drawn from years of personal experience which has been educated by professional advice ( such as doctors and psychologists).

What has driven you to depression and despair could include physical or mental illness.

It could be a chemical imbalance in the brain.

It could include emotional turmoil or spiritual struggles.

It could be an addiction.

It could be broken relationships.
It could be the death of a loved one.

It could be many things... 

First – the foundational steps:

1)      Admit you have a problem bigger than yourself and get help.

Talk to a friend you trust, blurt it out if you have to – just break that ice that keeps you under the surface.

Its been said that “Monsters only live in the dark”.  Talk to that friend, open the door to that dark room and let the light in…. the perceived "monster" will begin to shrivel.

2)      Seek professional help as well. Go see a doctor and /or a counsellor. You might need medical assistance (Don't always resist taking a "pill" because of society's negative connotation on it - it could be the medicine you need to get better.) ...  and you will definitely need emotional, mental and spiritual support.

Don’t just do this when its an emergency and don’t completely stop when you feel better. 

Just like a vehicle or a garden – we need “maintenance”.  Having someone that you are accountable to and that you can talk to on a regular basis is truly freeing and healing.

Don't let anyone ( including yourself) tell you that mental illness is not valid - as the saying goes, "The struggle is real!"

Little things that make a difference:

Stress is almost always the catalyst to your particular weakness. Learn to manage your stress – be proactive and plan ahead to avoid chaos as much as possible. 

Learn to set boundaries with yourself and those around you. Don’t place walls around your heart and mind – that only traps you but set “fences” or boundaries as this allows you to have healthy communication with others but not be controlled by them.

Don't overthink things - just keep it simple!

Fight the darkness - remain determined to be as positive as you can realizing you are indeed in a battle and "weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning".

H.A.L.T.     I was given this very simple but extremely effective acronym...

Don’t take things too seriously or make big decisions when you are:

Hungry / Angry / Lonely / or Tired.  

We may think these conditions are minimal but we are human and they can really affect our perspective.

When you feel you cannot get off the couch or drag yourself out of bed. When life is so bad that you do not want to see anyone or do anything or go anywhere because it all seems pointless – do something small but constructive and positive.

And the secret is to do “it” in small doses. We may not be able to do much but cut yourself some slack and then determine to do one small thing at a time – one step at a time.

For example:

Have a shower

Take out the garbage

Write an email to encourage or say something kind to someone

Go for a walk

Visit someone

Do something nice for someone else

What I’m getting at is that sometimes we get so overwhelmed with life that we don’t even want to move.

To me, the secret has often been to not try to do “everything” I think I should do but rather just do  ONE thing that is constructive and positive.

Then try to follow that up with another constructive, positive thing.  They began to build on each other.

One example for me is that I will not feel like reading the Bible ( as a Christian this is important to me) and then I will feel guilty because it has been so long and I’m so pathetic and I think that I couldn’t keep it up consistenly anyways …so I just lay there.

No -  pick up the Bible or a devotional and read a verse or two. You don’t have to start off with 10 chapters or an in depth Bible study – start off with a verse or two, meditate on them, pray for 5 minutes.

A little is so much better than nothing!!!

Its like they say with anything that seems overwhelming and impossible – you don’t eat an elephant all at once, you eat it one bite at a time. 

Don’t let the fear and dread of the ideal destination stop you from taking a small step in the right direction.

Its not so much how fast your going 
as it is the direction your headed in.

Don't fuel the fire!  If you are depressed or scared or just confused then lay off the horror movies for sure and  even the dark or intense dramas  - you don't need that right now. You need simple, you need a little normal.  Hang out with positive healthy people and at positive healthy places. Be careful where you go on the Internet...

To expand a bit on some of the things listed under "do something small but constructive and  positive":

I have realized that physical exercise is huge in in the effect it has on our minds and hearts . Again - you don't have to run a marathon but at least step outside the house and go a for walk. Walk uphill a bit if you can as it gets your heart pumping faster. The endorphins created can do wonders for your clarity of thinking.

Do something for someone else.  I'm not talking about masking your own problems by being everyone else's hero - I just mean when you feel like no one understands you or gets you, try to do something that will be a blessing to some one else. You would be amazed at how well this can make you feel.

I hope that made some sense…. I also hope to add more to this as things occur to me or I remember them….

One last thing though is the most important in my view. We are created with a deep seeded need for the One who created us. And with that need left unmet all the above an only help us so much.  

In my personal experience, intellectual searching and just real everyday life - that need is not only there but it is met in the God of the Bible and through the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

I sum it up this simply:

"Not everything in this life makes sense to me, but without Jesus Christ nothing makes sense at all"

or as C.S. Lewis put it:

I believe in Christ (ianity) as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.