Grace Elizabeth - The Story of a Birth

Its been 1 month today since Grace Elizabeth first entered the outside world or as Dan Haseltine  put it “Since I first saw her breathing on her own”…

Its been 3 and a half years since the rather monumental decision to begin trying to have a child.

About 2 years since we lost our first child Chay at 14 weeks into pregnancy… that was on a Father’s Day.

I may not have seen Chay born into the outside world but I saw his little heart beating, via ultrasound, while God was yet forming him in the womb and my heart beat with it. 


Chay

After that there was a dark time in our lives. When it was safe we began trying again but it seemed like it took forever, every month a bitter sweet expectation; every menstrual period, a mourning period.  And then it happened and we looked at each other and we had no idea how to feel. We were scared a miscarriage might happen again. I was scared what that might do to my wife and we were very very cautious.

Its been a bit of a journey for us but I know so many other stories now from other people who have been through so much more, so much longer…. And it touched me deeply how merciful and supporting they were to us when they had so much of their own suffering.

And so we waited. We had the first ultra sound and things looked good, I was still very nervous and I think Sher was too. We gave each other knowing glances but didn’t speak aloud too much of our fears. 

Time marched on and things kept looking good and yet I was still very scared inside, worrying about the actual birth and the health and safety of our child.  I wrote to a friend and mentor of mine at the time expressing my fears and asking for prayer. Something he said in his reply stuck with me…. “Just remember you don't have to know what God is doing, just remember Who He is. He loves both of you very much and wants the best for you.”   I know this can be easy to say but the truth of it is real and it reminded me of where I should be putting my trust and what I should be resting in - God’s character, not just what He is apparently letting happen in my life.  Like I said, not easy, but true.

Then came March 13^th .  The due date was the 15^th and we were pretty prepared for an overdue baby as we had been warned many times that the first one was usually late.  Sherry had had some minor cramping the night before but had barely spoke of it (being the somewhat stubborn warrior she is). As it was Sunday we headed off to church, marvelling at the size of Sherry’s belly. That Sunday, the focus was on youth and as leaders in that area we were asked to come up to the stage. Pastor Larry encouraged us in our ministry, joked about the baby being ready and suggested we take a bumpy car ride to hurry things a long.  He then committed us to God in prayer.

We enjoyed the morning and Sherry showed no signs of stress nor mentioned anything out of the ordinary, so we continued on with our usual routine and went to Wendy’s for lunch with our family and friends and then went home for a rest before the youth would come over that evening for “Koinonia” ( a Greek word meaning fellowship), the name of our little group get-together for Bible study, discussion and prayer.

Did I mention that Sherry did not say that anything was out of the ordinary? 

All of a sudden I notice Sherry bent over the kitchen island in what looked like significant pain. I asked what was going on and she told me she had been having cramps all morning but didn’t want to ruin the day, now they were getting worse  - oh Sherry darling.  We decided we were in pre-labour (see your Baby’ Best Chance handbook!) and decided we should probably go up to the hospital to at least get checked out.

I had to admit I was a little surprised and a little happy about this (as I am not the most patient person in the world) . So I fairly calmly grabbed our “Hospital Bag” (Gentlemen, do not be without one!) and packed the car, still thinking in the back of my mind this was just a pre-caution. I called one of my youth leaders up and said I would put a key to the house in the mail box just in case we weren’t home in time.

Arrival at the Hospital. By now Sherry is in massive pain and scared and saying “I don’t think I can do this, I don’t think I can do this”, thinking of the hours and hours she would still have to go through (I thought of repeating what one of my old pastors had said to his wife when she was in labour – “Are you sure you still want to go through with this?” but I thought better J) .

We are put into a check up room and a very nice nurse named Susan comes in to look at the vitals. She heeds that labour is very long and not to get too excited, then she sees Sherry’s stomach almost reach out and slap her as Sher has a contraction. Seeming somewhat taken aback by the very visible movement she says “Well we better do an examination just to make sure”. Okay, that’s cool (by now I’m getting used to strangers invading my poor wife’s privacy – its takes a while guys, at first you just want to give them a knee to the head).  The nurse fiddles around a bit then pops her head up  “Oh my, you’re 5 centimetres, I think I‘ll give the doctor a ring” Yes, please do.

So by now all 3 of us are quite aware that Sherry is in Active Labour  (again see Baby’s Best Chance handbook) which explains Sherry’s earlier lament – she didn’t realize she was right in the thick of things, she thought it was only beginning  and was going to be infinitely worse etc…. Once again it was confirmed to me that my wife is a warrior… a princess warrior really. 

And so birth begins. Nurse Susan suggests I grab her other leg, with adrenaline running, I grab it like I’m putting someone in a headlock. I was in there like a dirty shirt and I didn’t even have time to think about it. All of a sudden I was a full blown coach spurring my wife on to the end of the marathon….  

This goes on for a while then, in the background somewhere, I hear someone yell down the hall for help. In a moment I am gently but firmly squished out of the inner circle as all kinds of nurses contort my wife’s body and I, rather oblivious to any threat, grab my camera and start taking pictures – pictures you will never see by the way.  Apparently our little daughter’s shoulder had gotten stuck and the umbilical cord was also dangerously near her neck and head. But alas, The Lord and the doctor worked this out …

…. and Grace was born.

8 lbs 6 oz. 5:51 pm – about 7 hours since we had been on the stage at church, about 3 hours since we first came to the hospital, about an hour before Bible study was to begin. She is thrown onto mom’s chest for a few minutes then checked over and handed to me while Sherry is looked after.

Birth was the most beautiful, intense, physically violent and spiritually mind-blowing thing I have ever seen.  The feeling of seeing my daughter enter the world was … well it was all that everyone said it would be and more. All the hype was true. And that rarely happens in this world.

I have written another little note concerning the meaning of our daughter’s name but in short God’s grace is a concept that few people have fully grasped. In the Bible, it can be a greeting or a gift. Most importantly though,  it refers to the work of redemption and transformation of a person’s life through Jesus Christ. 

As the song puts it,  “Grace, its name for a girl. It’s also a thought that changed the world.”

Elizabeth means an oath to God or worshipper of God. When we understand grace, we can but worship the One from Whom it flows.

I think I have always had a pretty high degree of respect for women but that degree was added to big time as I saw Sherry go through the process of pregnancy from first to third trimesters, deliver a child (in what has to be nature’s most painful experience) and then continue to nurse that child every 2-3 hours with little sleep - and yes I know there is much more to come for both of us!

And I don’t just say this to get brownie points with Sher or the fairer sex in general – but her stamina, toughness, patience, perseverance and love were and are something amazing for me to behold. God Himself compares His love and comfort to that of the mother:

Isa 66:13 “As one whom his mother comforts, So I will comfort you; And you shall be comforted in Jerusalem."

And the Lord takes it even further when He says:

Isaiah 49:15 "Can a woman forget her nursing child, And not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you.

As a father I am only beginning to grasp how much my Heavenly Father must love me… from a child’s perspective my parents have done an amazing job and now my infant daughter will be teaching me His love….

1John 4:18-19   “ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
We love Him, because he first loved us.”

Ephesians 1:6 “…to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.”