The Greeks (and therefore the New Testament) had two very distinct
words for “time” . One we are probably
familiar with – Chronos. As in chronology, chronicles, chronic pain etc…
The other word , not so much. It is “Kairos” .
The simplest way to distinguish the meanings of these two words is
probably the following example from Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Greek
Words:
Chronos marks quantity, kairos, quality
Chronos is the seconds and minutes of time - either long or short. Kairos is a portion of time, the "things and events of time" (Strong's Concordance). The English word "moment" might be a good way to describe it.
I recently read a blog by a young mother who used these two
words to distinguish “time”. She had
become frustrated when older women would constantly come up to her and say
something like “Cherish this time with your children! Its over so fast”
To her this somehow conveyed that she was not doing a good
enough job “cherishing” or enjoying this time in her life when she had young
children. She was so stressed out just
trying to keep them fed, clean and generally safe that she was not always
“feeling the cherishing” . And so she
felt like a failure, like she didn’t love her kids enough or didn’t appreciate all that she had.
The older ladies I’m
sure did not mean to make her feel this way but such is the translation that
can occur between one person’s mouth and another’s ear.
I know a bit of what this young mother feels, as does my
wife. We are parents of an adorable, incredible and wonderful 11 month old
daughter.
But man, its hard.
Having a child changed our world completely. It takes you to
a level of selflessness you never knew existed.
And you get tired – real tired.
In talking with friends in similar stages of life and those
who have done it before, there is a consensus that this is indeed the most
stressful and busy time in a person’s life.
Feeling guilty about not “cherishing” the time you have with
your kids is, ironically, a waste of time. Not to mention energy and
emotion.
What this young mother eventually realized ( and I think
what the older ladies were really probably referring to all along) was that
this is not about cherishing the every second of the CHRONOS so much as it is cherishing
all of the KAIROS.
Those precious moments when you realize how fortunate you
are, how awesome and kind your Creator is, how wonderfully and fearfully your spouse
and child were made - when all the
beauty just leaves you gasping for air.
" As a person with a mental illness, time is not always my problem. In fact, it rarely is. My problem is energy. "
One more thing before I sign off this post. As a person with a mental illness, time is
not always my problem. In fact, it
rarely is. My problem is energy.
I usually have the time – but I rarely have the energy to do
all the things I think I should do, much less the things I want to do.This is hard for most people to understand, and even harder
to explain.
It’s not good when other people began to think that you are
actually just lazy or selfish, it’s even worse when you yourself begin to believe it.
I'm sure people with a wide variety of illnesses can relate to this.
But what I have found is that this principle of time we have
been discussing also applies to energy.
I don’t always plan ahead very much because the more
pressure there is to have a good time, the less likely it is for me to actually
have a good time. This, of course, can make others understandably frustrated at my apparent lack of commitment or interest and I often feel terrible about that.
You can just forget
about yourself and try and fake it for your family and friends – but eventually
they catch on ( especially your wife). And,
of course, you yourself eventually wear down.
Fortunately many of friends do understand this. One example is where a good friend asked me to be in his wedding party - a truly high honour! To my dismay I realized this was n't going to work very well though - I would just end up being a mess leading up to and during the wedding. So I explained this to him and he very graciously understood.
I was able instead to attend the wedding as a guest and put that precious "energy" into doing what I could to make his day very special.
So what I have learned, and my gracious, loving wife has too
– is that we often enjoy our moments the most when they happen somewhat
spontaneously or without a lot of pomp and ceremony. When in a “kairos” of time (or energy as the case may be) , all
the beauty of life and God and family comes into focus.. and you can see
clearly.
How sweet are those moments. How sweet is clarity.
Though I truly am thankful for every minute of life…. I
really cherish those ones.
Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
Ephesians 5: 15 - 17