Nirvana, Gen X and Hope

It was the early 90’s and I was just entering adolescence.  Though he was 11 years and 2 days my senior, I think Kurt Cobain was still in his adolescence too.

I was more of a Counting Crows fan myself but I know it was Nirvana that ushered in the new sound of the disenfranchised Generation X.   Alternative… Grunge rock.

Cobain said of himself and his generation … "I'm such a nihilistic jerk half the time and other times I'm so vulnerable and sincere [. . . The songs are] like a mixture of both of them. That's how most people my age are." 

Perhaps it was all of us getting tired of the big hair and heavy make up of heavy metal or a reaction to the bubblegum and bright colours of the 80’s – but whatever caused our discontent, Nirvana embodied it. They became the symbol of our generation.

This was a bit of a dangerous time for me. I was, of course, young and therefore impressionable. I was also searching for an identity . Feeling largely misunderstood and depressed – I found my identity, albeit briefly, in this type of music.

Its easy to criticize the attitude of Generation X and its musicians but it could also be said that the mistakes of the previous generation – especially when it came to divorce and parenting – left people like Cobain without much reason to want to “grow up”. 

When he was 7 Kurt’s parents did just that – divorced. He spoke of it… "I remember feeling ashamed, for some reason. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn't face some of my friends at school anymore, because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family. Mother, father. I wanted that security, so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that."

This, of course, is no excuse for us as individuals – we all make our choices
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Kurt flirted with Christianity while living in foster care with his friend Jesse Read but never seemed to embrace it. It seems that Kurt, like so many of us, struggled in his relationship with his father, feeling bitterness towards him, and soon this reflected in his view of  a monotheistic God. 

I’m reminded again of how important the family is.  And, even if our family is far from perfect, how important our attitude towards them is. Forgiveness…so much healing, so much power is there.

We all know how Kurt’s story ended…. Though his family did an intervention and he agreed to go to therapy, he eventually scaled the wall of the rehab unit, flew back to Seattle and about a week later turned a shotgun on himself.

Please know I’m not writing this to condemn Kurt Cobain or our generation – nor am I writing this to glorify them.  Every generation has it struggles, its strengths and its weaknesses.

But without hope – what is there?

This was the theme I was finding in my generation – and especially its music – hopelessness. 

Those this may sound cheesy at first - but I thank God that I knew from an early age the hope there is in Jesus. I thank God that I was able to make peace with my parents. And I thank Him that I rediscovered that hope again… fully alive in His glory, not my own.

Fulfilled and healed in His love, comforted in His grace, built up by His commands.

We all have our addictions, our pain - and Kurt was no different – he just happened to be catapulted into the position of being one of the quintessential depictions of our age. 

And let's not forget mental illness - something I struggle with , as does Adam Duritz of Counting Crows. Perhaps Kurt did too , I do not know.

What I have learned and believe to be true is that the answer to the heart cry of every generation that has walked the planet is simply  - Jesus. Whether we are talking Old Testament or New – He has been made manifest in every age and He has been found by those (of every generation) who truly seek Him.

So yes, Jesus does want you for a “sunbeam” and people can find Him… even through the limelight. Ask Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Bryan Welch and many others.

To Kurt, we lost you far too soon. Our thoughts and prayers are with your family... 

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

1 Tim 1:1 “…the Lord Jesus Christ, our hope”

(The Real) St Patrick - His Life, Legacy and Lorica (Breastplate)

 'I am Patrick, a sinner, most unlearned, the least of all the faithful, and utterly despised by many.' So begins Patrick's Confession in the Book of Armagh.

St. Patrick was born in Roman Britain at Banna Venta Berniae  (perhaps  modern Ravenglass in Cumbria.)

When he was about sixteen, he was captured and carried off as a slave to Ireland.^[27] Patrick worked as a herdsman, remaining a captive for six years. He writes that his faith grew in captivity, and that he prayed daily.

Patrick recounts that he had a vision a few years after returning home:

I saw a man coming, as it were from Ireland. His name was Victoricus, and he carried many letters, and he gave me one of them. I read the heading: "The Voice of the Irish". As I began the letter, I imagined in that moment that I heard the voice of those very people who were near the wood of Foclut, which is beside the western sea—and they cried out, as with one voice: "We appeal to you, holy servant boy, to come and walk among us."   (from The Declaration) 

* Wikipedia

"Freeman ( Philip Freeman, a professor of classics at Washington University in St. Louis) helpfully retells Patrick’s conversion story, one of a mocking young hedonist to a repentant evangelist. The story sounds remarkably similar to that of Augustine—and, in the most significant of ways, both mirror the first-century conversion of Saul of Tarsus. ....

...The rest of the narrative demonstrates the ways in which Patrick carried the Christian mission into the frontiers of the British Isles—confronting a hostile culture and institutionalized heresy along the way. With this the case, the life of Patrick is a testimony to Great Commission fervor, not to the Irish nationalism most often associated with the saint. As a matter of fact, Freeman points out that Patrick’s love for the Irish was an act of obedience to Jesus’ command to love enemies and to pray for persecutors."

From Russel D. Moore:  An Evangelical Looks at Saint Patrick

St Patrick's Breastplate

Written by Cecil Alexander at the request of H.H. Dickinson

"I wrote to her sug­gest­ing that she should fill a gap in our Irish Church Hymn­al by giv­ing us a me­tric­al ver­sion of St. Patrick’s “Lor­i­ca” and I sent her a care­ful­ly col­lat­ed co­py of the best prose trans­la­tions of it. With­in a week she sent me that ex­qui­site­ly beau­ti­ful as well as faith­ful ver­sion which ap­pears in the ap­pend­ix to our Church Hymn­al."

It is said that Patrick, as he wandered the land,  would pray something like this  for protection from the enemies there who would do him harm.

http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/s/t/stpatric.htm

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this today to me forever
By power of faith, Christ’s incarnation;
His baptism in Jordan river,
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb,
His riding up the heavenly way,
His coming at the day of doom
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of cherubim;
The sweet ‘Well done’ in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors’ faith, Apostles’ word,
The Patriarchs’ prayers, the prophets’ scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the star lit heaven,
The glorious sun’s life giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward;
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan’s spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart’s idolatry,
Against the wizard’s evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave, the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
By Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.