Nirvana, Gen X and Hope

It was the early 90’s and I was just entering adolescence.  Though he was 11 years and 2 days my senior, I think Kurt Cobain was still in his adolescence too.

I was more of a Counting Crows fan myself but I know it was Nirvana that ushered in the new sound of the disenfranchised Generation X.   Alternative… Grunge rock.

Cobain said of himself and his generation … "I'm such a nihilistic jerk half the time and other times I'm so vulnerable and sincere [. . . The songs are] like a mixture of both of them. That's how most people my age are." 

Perhaps it was all of us getting tired of the big hair and heavy make up of heavy metal or a reaction to the bubblegum and bright colours of the 80’s – but whatever caused our discontent, Nirvana embodied it. They became the symbol of our generation.

This was a bit of a dangerous time for me. I was, of course, young and therefore impressionable. I was also searching for an identity . Feeling largely misunderstood and depressed – I found my identity, albeit briefly, in this type of music.

Its easy to criticize the attitude of Generation X and its musicians but it could also be said that the mistakes of the previous generation – especially when it came to divorce and parenting – left people like Cobain without much reason to want to “grow up”. 

When he was 7 Kurt’s parents did just that – divorced. He spoke of it… "I remember feeling ashamed, for some reason. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn't face some of my friends at school anymore, because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family. Mother, father. I wanted that security, so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that."

This, of course, is no excuse for us as individuals – we all make our choices
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Kurt flirted with Christianity while living in foster care with his friend Jesse Read but never seemed to embrace it. It seems that Kurt, like so many of us, struggled in his relationship with his father, feeling bitterness towards him, and soon this reflected in his view of  a monotheistic God. 

I’m reminded again of how important the family is.  And, even if our family is far from perfect, how important our attitude towards them is. Forgiveness…so much healing, so much power is there.

We all know how Kurt’s story ended…. Though his family did an intervention and he agreed to go to therapy, he eventually scaled the wall of the rehab unit, flew back to Seattle and about a week later turned a shotgun on himself.

Please know I’m not writing this to condemn Kurt Cobain or our generation – nor am I writing this to glorify them.  Every generation has it struggles, its strengths and its weaknesses.

But without hope – what is there?

This was the theme I was finding in my generation – and especially its music – hopelessness. 

Those this may sound cheesy at first - but I thank God that I knew from an early age the hope there is in Jesus. I thank God that I was able to make peace with my parents. And I thank Him that I rediscovered that hope again… fully alive in His glory, not my own.

Fulfilled and healed in His love, comforted in His grace, built up by His commands.

We all have our addictions, our pain - and Kurt was no different – he just happened to be catapulted into the position of being one of the quintessential depictions of our age. 

And let's not forget mental illness - something I struggle with , as does Adam Duritz of Counting Crows. Perhaps Kurt did too , I do not know.

What I have learned and believe to be true is that the answer to the heart cry of every generation that has walked the planet is simply  - Jesus. Whether we are talking Old Testament or New – He has been made manifest in every age and He has been found by those (of every generation) who truly seek Him.

So yes, Jesus does want you for a “sunbeam” and people can find Him… even through the limelight. Ask Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Bryan Welch and many others.

To Kurt, we lost you far too soon. Our thoughts and prayers are with your family... 

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

1 Tim 1:1 “…the Lord Jesus Christ, our hope”