What I would really like to do is to look at a certain cornerstone-type phrase that is repeated three distinct times in the Bible.
> First at the very beginning of time (Genesis).
> It is re-iterated and validated again by Jesus Christ (Matthew, Mark)
> And finally, in the great passage on marriage by the Apostle Paul (Ephesians), it is used again to to not only confirm the standard but also to bring life and meaning to this particular relationship.
These instances in the context of their passages are found near the end of the post.
*(It is also referenced in 1 Corinthians 6:16)
“Traditional Marriage”
as defined by Webster’s today is
(1) : the state of being united to
a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual
relationship recognized by law
Webster’s has other definitions of course of modern
adaptations such as Common-law and Same Sex.
Polygamy has not made it in yet.
I readily acknowledge that there are many “traditional”
marriages that are broken and ugly – full of hurt and hate and hypocrisy .
I understand that there are many single parents, divorcees
and various peoples in love who may or may not be in their situation due to
their own actions – and even if they are there due to their own actions, I am
most certainly NOT here to personally judge.
I know that my marriage is an awesome but always vulnerable
thing. It takes hard work and
selflessness and neither me nor my wife have this all figured out – far from
it. It is only the
grace of God that keeps things surviving…. and leads us to the ideal of
marriage – when its thriving.
As for some reasons for this standard outside the Bible?
Not to be too vulgar, but we cannot ignore the natural biology and anatomy of the human race.
Then there is the fact that history tells us that the
“traditional” marriage and thus the family unit has been the corner stone of
pretty much every successful society and civilization. ( note – I am very aware of the polygamy practiced
in the Old Testament and history– I have addressed it a bit below )
Nor can we really deny the effect that broken homes have had
on all members of the family – its hard, it hurts and it can develop into a
generational cycle.
We are all broken in some way or other - even those who appear to be in "socially" or "church" acceptable relationships . But all situations can, I believe, be redeemed and reconciled by Jesus Christ.
Let's go back to that cornerstone statement though:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”
A quick look at the word “joined”
Hebrew: dabaq
1) to cling, stick, stay close, cleave, keep close,
stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch
Greek: proskollaō
1) to glue upon, glue to
2) to join one's self to closely, cleave to, stick to
My friend Larry who is both a Pastor and a life long Contractor
gave a compelling illustration of that word the other day .
He spoke of when he used a proper adhesive glue when “joining”
two boards together and letting them cure.
If he tried to take those two
pieces of wood apart after that, it was near impossible – but if he did succeed
then both boards would be splintered and broken.
Such is the marriage bond.
Let me just re-iterate here , I realize people from all kinds of
situations and backgrounds may be reading this – and I’m not here to make you
feel worse then you may already. I'm a broken man in constant need of the grace of God and I'm not here to personaly judge you.
There is forgiveness and
redemption available in all situations and God loves you and understands you – but it doesn’t
change His definition of marriage.
Following are the three passages of Scripture I spoke of
earlier. Skim them if you need too but I
would suggesting reading them through if
at all possible.
There is more commentary below as well that is tantamount to the full purpose of this post...
Gen
2:20 So Adam gave names to
all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for
Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
Gen
2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he
slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.
Gen
2:22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into
a woman, and He brought her to the man.
Gen
2:23 And Adam said: "This [is] now bone of my bones And flesh
of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.
Gen
2:24 Therefore a man shall leave
his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one
flesh.
Gen
2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not
ashamed.
Gen
2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he
slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Gen
2:22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into
a woman, and He brought her to the man. Gen
2:23 And Adam said: "This [is] now bone of my bones And flesh
of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Gen
2:24 Therefore a man shall leave
his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one
flesh. Gen
2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not
ashamed.
Jesus Christ
Mat
19:3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him,
"Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for [just] any reason?" Mat
19:4 And He answered and said to
them, "Have you not read that He who made them at
the beginning 'made them male and female,'
Mat
19:5
"and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and
the two shall become one flesh'?
Mat
19:6 "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore
what God has joined together, let not man separate."
Mat
19:7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a
certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
Mat
19:8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your
hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
Mat
19:9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for
sexual immorality, and marries another,
commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits
adultery."
Mat
19:6 "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore
what God has joined together, let not man separate." Mat
19:7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a
certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" Mat
19:8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your
hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. Mat
19:9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for
sexual immorality, and marries another,
commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits
adultery."
Eph
5:21 submitting to one
another in the fear of God.
Eph
5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Eph
5:23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of
the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Eph
5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so [let]
the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything.
Eph
5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church
and gave Himself for her,
Eph
5:26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of
water by the word,
Eph
5:27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not
having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and
without blemish.
Eph
5:28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies;
he who loves his wife loves himself.
Eph
5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and
cherishes it, just as the Lord [does] the church.
Eph
5:30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
Eph
5:31
"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to
his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
Eph
5:32
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Eph
5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own
wife as himself, and let the wife [see] that she respects [her] husband.
Eph
5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Eph
5:23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of
the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Eph
5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so [let]
the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything. Eph
5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church
and gave Himself for her, Eph
5:26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of
water by the word, Eph
5:27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not
having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and
without blemish. Eph
5:28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies;
he who loves his wife loves himself. Eph
5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and
cherishes it, just as the Lord [does] the church. Eph
5:30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. Eph
5:31
"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to
his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." Eph
5:32
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Eph
5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own
wife as himself, and let the wife [see] that she respects [her] husband.
After looking at those passages there are a couple things to
note.
One - The Pharisees
approached Jesus on the topic of marriage and He responded. Some will say that Jesus never condemned
homosexuality - but here in this passage
it is clear that He is ratifying the definition of marriage given “from the
beginning” .
He is re-confirming God’s original design for marriage – 1
man, 1 woman, 1 lifetime – to the exclusion of all others.
You may be upset by this statement but its not I who am stating it – It was first the Creator
as recorded in the Old Testament and then the Lord Jesus.
And you must realize that when Jesus says some of these hard
things, He is also full of compassion
and forgiveness and help – if you want it.
Note the phrase “It was not so from the beginning”. Moses offered a certificate of divorce*
because of the hardness of their hearts – but this was not God’s original
design or intention.
I think it is reasonable to conclude that the same is true
of polygamy in the Old Testament– not God’s design or intention. It is certainly found no where in the New Testament.
For further examination of the topic of Old Testament
polygamy please see this link: http://www.gotquestions.org/polygamy.html
(* Note: There are only two legitimate reasons given for divorce
combined with re-marriage in the New Testament.
> The death of one's spouse - Romans 7
> And the act of "sexual immorality" committed by one's spouse - Matthew 19:9)
The second thing is what I think
people
really miss.
It is the heart and reason behind the
rule.
As we read the Bible , especially that last passage from
Ephesians, we realize that there is more than just the physical and temporal to
marriage.
It is not designed out of thin air but rather it is a mirror
of a powerful epic - a living illustration
of a human being’s very relationship to God Himself.
After repeating for the third time the great marriage
design…. "For this reason a man
shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall
become one flesh."
Paul goes on to say:
“This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”
You can go back and read the passage but I’ll pull one line
out of it for now:
“ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
also loved the church and gave Himself for her..”
“Just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her” –
this is no mom and pop just “staying together for the kid’s sake” kind of thing– this is far
beyond that.
It is spiritual, it is heavenly, it is eternal. It is talking about the very redemption of humankind.
The church is simply those people who have put their faith
in Jesus as the sole Saviour of their souls.
And the church, collectively, is likened to a Bride and Jesus, the Bridegroom.
Rev 19:7
"Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made
herself ready."
Rev 19:9
Then he said to me, "Write: 'Blessed [are] those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!' " And he said to me,
"These are the true sayings of God."
Marriage, like other relationships built into our physical, emotional
and spiritual DNA, is meant for so much more – it is meant to give a foretaste
of the overwhelming love and intimacy we can have now - and will have even more
so after this life - with our Creator.
No wonder marriage is sacred…. on so many levels.
