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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Life is hard. God is good. So whats up?

***I wrote this as a youth devotional almost 3 years ago. What's funny is that now that I am a father, it rings even more true ( eg. the 2nd point )





Well we all learn that life is hard soon enough, life doesn’t seem fair either sometimes. I’ve been experiencing this lately a bit. The bitterness of life tends to set in – so often too early. Okay this devo is a little long but give it a chance :)

In my limited years on this planet I too have pondered the age old question: “Why do bad things happen when God is supposed to be good”. Let me be the first to say that I do not in any way have it all figured out – if I said I did, you ‘d probably stop reading this anyways. I do have a few thoughts that I’ve accumulated though and I guess I would like to share them tonight – for God’s glory I hope. There are three things I take into consideration when faced with this question.

1) Free will and sin. A lot of the garbage that goes on in our life and in the world is not God’s fault. One simple example on a world scale is that fact that there is food and enough to feed all humanity on this planet – but due to many reasons( a lot of them to do with corrupt governments in the third world) people are starving.

2) Don’t get me wrong - I don’t believe all suffering and illness on a personal level comes from sin – God is far more gracious than we give Him credit for. Here’s the thing guys and gals – for those of you wondering why God has let you go through what you are going through – try seeing it from His point of view – maybe he actually has our best interests at heart.

Sherry came home the other day and told me a story about one of her co-workers. This man and his wife and infant son were coming back from Vancouver to Vernon through the Coquihalla highway in the winter ( often dangerous if you know the area). It seems the child was in the “in-between” stage of having 2 different car seats – a super safe one for a younger kid and one more liberal one for an older child. Now the little boy had been traveling in the “big kid” car seat for most of the trip and was doing fine, it was dark, they were tired and the son was very cranky . For some reason though the father had a feeling about the car seat that night. He pulled over and insisted that the little boy go back into the “younger car seat” for extra safety – well this made the child furious – he threw a tantrum – the world was over as far as this kid was concerned. To be honest the man’s wife wasn’t too happy with him either – why bother the kid when he’s already cranky?. At any rate the father continued with the car seat change and set off driving again. It wasn’t long before they were rolling inside their car as it tumbled off the highway into the dark ditch. It took the full grown man 5 months to recover enough to come back to work and both parents believe that if it were not for the extra secure car seat - they’re baby may well not have lived. It turned out the child had not a scratch on him after the accident.

The point is this folks – when God allows us to go through something that to us seems uncomfortable – even horrible – He knows what He is doing and He is doing it with our best in mind – just like the father who wrestled his small son into the carseat.

I find that its often not right away that I understand why God allowed something in my life – its often in the long run that it makes more sense ( and it may not even be till heaven till we fully understand – cue faith)

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you. Isaiah 43:2


3) The last short point I want bring up is this - Jesus died for you. He went through unspeakable torment physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally - on the cross - just for you. So when a little ( or a whole lot ) of trouble comes your way – wouldn’t you believe that He has the best in mind for you? Cue trust.

Hbr 12:2
looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hbr 12:3
For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Listen to the story of abortion survivor Gianna Jessen. I've never heard anything like it. Its both gut-wrenching and beautiful.


Gianna Jessen part 1
Gianna Jessen part 2

God and Suffering - Steven Curtis Chapman

 One of the most poignant commentaries on God and suffering from Steven Curtis Chapman. He lost his daughter when she was accidently run over by his son.

Steven Curtis Chapman part 1
Steven Curtis Chapman part 2
Steven Curtis Chapman part 3

Friday, May 13, 2011

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and OCD - Managing Compulsions and Obsessions (Dr. J.M. Schwartz)



My Intro: This article may not make sense to most people and that's okay. It is however a glimpse into my world and others who suffer with severe or even mild cases of Obssessive Compulsive Disorder.  I used to joke about having "OCD" but 've since learned if you really have it, its not cool.

For Christians, if you feel uncomfortable with the idea of Mental Illness you should really look into it and talk to real believers who have real mental illness issues. In this article, you can replace words such as "facts". "reality" etc with "The Truth of God's Word" and it might make more sense to you ( they are the same thing to me).
Managing Compulsions and Obsessions*
This page briefly describes a behavioral self-treatment program that can be used for dealing with compulsive and obsessive thoughts, urges and behavior. This approach has been shown effective in numerous studies conducted during the past twenty years for the treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), compulsive overeating, substance abuse, and pathological gambling. It is also thought to be helpful for compulsive sexual urges and behavior. Recent research by Schwartz and others at UCLA has demonstrated that this self-treatment program can also alter the neurochemical brain processes that seem to be associated with compulsions and obsessions. See also the page on this WEB site that deals more generally with Anxiety and the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders.
STEP 1: RELABEL
The first step is to learn to recognize your obsessive thoughts and compulsive urges as symptoms of a disorder. To do so, it is important to increase your mindful awareness of this pathological process at work. Some have referred to this awareness as the "Impartial Spectator" or the "Observing Ego", which is the capacity that resides in each of us to observe our behavior and recognize what is "real" as distinct from what is not real, or just a symptom. The capacity to distinguish between real needs and pathological symptoms allows us to fend off pathological urges until they begin to recede and fade. The goal of Step 1 is to learn to RELABEL intrusive thoughts and urges as obsessions and compulsions, and to relabel these assertively. It will serve you to refer to these urges in these terms - use the labels "obsession" and "compulsion". Train yourself to say, "I don't need or want to do this behavior; I'm merely having a thought that I need to do this." You must learn to recognize these intrusive, obsessive thoughts and urges as the symptoms of a disorder, and as such distinguish these from desires that are healthy for you to satisfy, and behaviors that will enable you to feel better over the long term. You must come to recognize these intrusive, obsessive thoughts and urges as symptoms that help keep the disorder in place. You might consider the urges you experience as similar to the irrational thoughts of the compulsive handwasher who believes that he must constantly wash his hands to be free of harmful germs and bacteria.
STEP 2: REATTRIBUTE
The essence of this step is to REATTRIBUTE your obsessive thoughts and urges to a disorder that involves the sending of false messages from your brain. It is important to not take your thoughts and urges at face value, and to remind yourself that "this is not me; this is my disorder at work." Research has demonstrated that individuals who develop obsessive-compulsive urges and behavior also tend to have certain brain areas (the caudate nucleus and associated frontal lobe structures) that are chronically overstimulated, which contributes to the intensity and urgency of obsessive-compulsive thoughts and urges. It is important to be aware of this underlying physiological process and to realize that it is impossible to make the thoughts and urges go away immediately. The important thing to realize is that you don't need to act on the urges. You don't need to listen to them. Don't take them at face value. They are false messages from the brain that are part of a disorder. The most effective thing you can do is to put the thoughts and urges aside and go on to another behavior. Do something else; trying to make the thoughts and urges go away will only create more stress, which serves to make the thoughts and urges more intense. The point is to not engage with the thoughts by either acting on them or trying to make them go away, but simply RELABEL and REATTRIBUTE them as symptoms of a disorder. Then move on to other things, as described in Step 3.
STEP 3: REFOCUS
This step involves taking action to refocus your attention to another subject. This ordinarily is the automatic work of the brain - specifically the caudate nucleus - but because the caudate nucleus is not functioning properly, this shifting of focus is something that you must do "manually". In REFOCUSING, the idea is to work around the intrusive thoughts and urges by shifting attention to something else, if only for a few minutes. This may involve making and following through with plans for the remainder of the day. It should lead to an activity that will absorb your attention, and that you will find satisfying and enjoyable. Hobbies can be particularly good. For example, you may choose to take a walk, exercise, listen to music, read, play a computer game, or practice a sport that you enjoy. The goal of treatment is to stop responding to the obsessive thoughts and urges, while acknowledging that, for the present, these uncomfortable feelings and urges will continue to bother you. You begin to "work around" them by doing another behavior. You learn that, even though the thoughts and urges are present, they do not have to control your behavior. You make the decision about what you're going to do, rather than responding to thoughts as a robot responds to commands. By REFOCUSING, you reclaim your decision-making power, and as a result the dysfunctional biochemical reverberations of the brain no longer dictate what you do.
 It is important to acknowledge that REFOCUSING is frequently not easy. It can take significant effort and even require tolerance of some very painful feelings. Therefore, it is important to observe the "Fifteen Minute Rule", which basically states that you will not act on an obsessive-compulsive thought or impulse without allowing at least 15 minutes to pass. During this 15 minutes you should work on RELABELING, REATTRIBUTING and REFOCUSING. In time, as you practice this, the process will become easier and will lead to greater reductions in the intensity of the compulsive thoughts and urges. Sometimes, however, the thoughts and urges will be too strong and you may find yourself performing the compulsion. This is not a time to berate yourself for succumbing to the obsessive-compulsive behavior. Simply acknowledge that your compulsion and disorder "won this round", and that your practice will make it more manageable the next time. It is also helpful to keep a JOURNAL of your successful REFOCUSING efforts. This will help to remind you of your successes and to identify which behaviors are most helpful to the process of refocusing. Also, as your list of successes gets longer, it will become inspirational and will be a place you can turn when the thoughts and urges "heat up." Record only your successes. There is no need to record your failures. You will be assisted by learning to give yourself a pat on the back, which is often difficult for people who experience compulsions and obsessions.
STEP 4: REVALUE
The Revaluing step comes into play after much practice of the first 3 steps. After you have had experience with relabeling, reattributing and refocusing - identifying your compulsive thoughts and urges as part of a pathological process - you will begin to REVALUE - actually put much less value on - the feelings that go along with this process. This is further assisted by two substeps to STEP 2: REATTRIBUTION: these are ANTICIPATE and ACCEPT. Anticipate means that you are prepared for the thoughts and urges to recur; you are not surprised by them, and you do not spend energy beating yourself up because you have them. You know what causes them and you work around them. You refuse to let these symptoms shock you, and you refuse to let them become a source of negativity about yourself. Obsessive thoughts and urges may occur hundreds of times each day. There is no need to dwell on them. This is where the second substep, ACCEPT, comes into play. Simply anticipate and accept that you have these thoughts and urges, and do your best to get on with other things. REFOCUSING is like a martial art, and a little like meditation. An obsessive thought or a compulsive urge is very strong, but also quite stupid. If you stand right in front of it and take the full brunt of its power, trying to drive it from your mind, it will defeat you repeatedly. Once you learn to step aside, acknowledging the thoughts as you work around them, you will find it progressively easier to move on to the next thing. You are learning to keep your wits about you in the face of a powerful opponent, an opponent that will also wither and die from your unwillingness to imbue it with attention and energy. Eventually, by taking charge of your actions, you will take charge of your mind and ultimately take charge of your life.
QUICK SUMMARY
STEP 1: RELABEL
Recognize that the intrusive thoughts and urges are the result of a DISORDER, which includes a reversible brain dysfunction that makes it difficult to automatically shift your focus.
STEP 2: REATTRIBUTE
Realize that the INTENSITY and INTRUSIVENESS of the thoughts and urges is also caused by dysfunctional brain processes.
STEP 3: REFOCUS
Work around the intrusive thoughts and urges by focusing your attention on something else, at least for a few minutes. DO ANOTHER BEHAVIOR.
STEP 4: REVALUE
Do not take the compulsive thoughts and urges at face value. These thoughts and urges are false messages from the brain that do not merit your active attention or concern. THEY ARE NOT SIGNIFICANT; acknowledge them for what they are and move on!

Maryland Institute for Individual & Family Therapy
7307 Baltimore Avenue, Suite 208, College Park, MD  20740
11249C Lockwood Drive, Silver Spring, MD  20901
301-277-3250 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            301-277-3250      end_of_the_skype_highlighting

*Adapted from Schwartz, J.M. (1996). Brain Lock: A Four-Step Self-Treatment Method to Change your Brain Chemistry. New York: Harper Collins.
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Cognitive Therapy errors in thinking:

Ø      Emotional Reasoning ( How you feel instead of facts)
Ø      Catastrophizing ( Imagining worst case scenario and reacting as such)
Ø      Dichotomous Thinking (Either / Or , Absolute perfection or total failure)
Ø      Personalization ( Making everything that happens related to yourself and your actions)
Ø      Selective Attention ( The tendency to notice only certain aspects, usually negative, of a situation)
Ø      Exaggeration of `normal` concerns about a situation
Ø      Hyper – Responsibility
Ø      Overestimating negative outcomes of a situation
Ø      Having unrealistic expectations of performance





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