(Some) Where I Belong: On Chester Bennington, Jon Foreman and Hope

I mourn for Chester Bennington and his family and I understand the pain of mental illness. 

I remember playing Linkin Park’s “Somewhere I Belong” to the kids at a youth group night at my parent’s house in Valemount and then telling them how there is a place that they belong according Scripture – in Jesus Christ, in community, in Heaven.

Chester Bennington co-wrote this song and you can hear the deep sincere plea for belonging: 

I want to heal, I want to feel,

What I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I felt so long (erase all the pain 'til it's gone)

I want to heal, I want to feel

Like I'm close to something real

I want to find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

Jon Foreman from the band Switchfoot also co-wrote a song that I think is in someways (though unintended) an answer to Linkin Park’s song, a song called “Where I belong”. He writes from a different perspective – one of reality and pain but also of eternal purpose and hope:

But I'm not sentimental

This skin and bones is a rental

And no one makes it out alive

Until I die I'll sing these songs

On the shores of Babylon

Still looking for a home

In a world where I belong

Where the weak are finally strong

Where the righteous right the wrongs

Still looking for a home

In a world where I belong

For Foreman his hope is in Christ and the heaven that is being with Him, free from the shackles of this world. I hope Bennington found this somewhere in his life before the end. I hope he has found the healing he sought...




“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4 

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus… But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.  Ephesians 2:4-6,13

What is the best story Bible for your kids? Try the Jesus Storybook Bible!

If you would like your children to know and understand the overall message of the Bible told in a charming yet deep and truthful way, I *highly* recommend this book. As I read it to my own daughter I feel my heart and mind fill up with new understanding of God's love and the story of the "Rescuer"... If you just can't afford the book right now please message me and I'll do my best to get one in your hands! (P.S. respected pastor, Timothy Keller, was involved in the theology behind the stories).

You can buy it on Amazon.ca here. 

The Human Conscience and the Moral Call of God: What’s the Difference?

It took me a very long while to realize the difference between my conscience and the voice of God in my life. The journey to this realization was very painful and confusing but it has inspired me to research and write a little about this difference and how it affects our lives and our perceptions of God. 

Holman’s Bible Dictionary defines conscience as the: “Human capacity to reflect upon the degree to which one’s behaviour has conformed to moral norms.” 

In his classic work Your God Is Too Small Christian scholar, J.B. Phillips, writes with great insight about the conscience: 

“Now no serious advocate of a real adult religion would deny the function of conscience, or deny that its voice may at least give an inkling of the moral order that lies behind the obvious world in which we live. Yet to make conscience into a God is a highly dangerous thing to do.” 

He then goes on to say:  “Conscience can be so easily perverted or morbidly developed in the sensitive person, and so easily ignored and silenced by the insensitive, that it makes a very unsatisfactory god.”

You see our human conscience, while usually quite valuable, must be viewed as something natural which has been affected, or more to the point - tainted, by the entry of sin into the world and human nature.  It is not (as I used to subconsciously think) one and the same as the voice of God or the Moral Law of God as given in Scripture (*see note on Moral Relativism at the end of this article). 

Our conscience is part of our fallen nature and must therefore be assessed and informed by the Word of God*, the conviction of the Holy Spirit and also by the wisdom of godly men and women in our lives (Proverbs 11:14). The Church Reformer, Martin Luther, stood by his conscience but first qualified that by saying that it was “captive to the Word of God.” He also expressly stated that:

“You should not believe your conscience and your feelings more than the Word which the Lord 

who receives sinners preaches to you.” Martin Luther

When the full weight of this truth came to bear upon me it was extraordinarily revolutionary in my life. I began to see God in a new and loving way – not as the merciless despot that was my conscience. The prison walls that blinded me (so to speak) to the true and wonderful nature of God were broken down and His light shone down on me not unlike it did to Paul on the road to Damascus. Paul’s quintessential question, “Who are you Lord?” came to be answered more fully in my heart and mind - and God was good and kind. It is imperative that the Christian, and any person for that matter, understands that the voice of God is gentle, “still and small” and not obnoxious. 

Again Phillips speaks about the conscience informing us about God rather than God informing our conscience about Him:  “For if it is, God can be made to appear to the sensitive an over-exacting tyrant, and to the insensitive a comfortable accommodating “Voice Within” which would never interfere with a man’s pleasure.” 

We notice that this can go both ways – an overly sensitive person may be coerced into thinking God is a “tyrant” while the overly insensitive may see Him as “Grand Old Man” who doesn’t mind all the shady things we do. I have found myself on the far end of “over sensitive” on this spectrum and have learned about how mental health can affect one’s perception of conscience just as much as “upbringing, training and propaganda” (Phillips). 

I was finally diagnosed with a severe case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in my mid- 20’s and began to learn more about how it affects my “conscience”. I learned that there was a subset of OCD that is called Scrupulosity wherein the obsessive and compulsive thoughts focus on moral issues (as opposed to germs or hand-washing).  To learn more about Scrupulosity click here. 

Now on the other extreme end of this spectrum one might think of a sociopath – a person who has little to no conscience. Some professionals think there is little hope for these people but again there is some evidence that this issue can be addressed through a Moral Law (Like the Bible for instance). For the story of a sociopath (David Wood) who is now a Christian apologist you may want to see this article. 

While those were two rather extreme examples, there are millions of normal people (religious and non-religious) who might fall somewhere in the middle of the “Broken Conscience” spectrum. Wherever you find yourself, I would encourage you to inform your conscience from the outside as well. I still struggle with my conscience (and specifically my OCD) perpetuating its own versions of God on me but I continue to remember the lessons learned and go to logic, the wisdom of others and above all else the Holy Scriptures and the Holy Spirit to be my guides and teachers.




Further Notes: 

*For a discussion on moral relativity vs an objective Moral Code given by God I would suggest reading “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis. One excerpt on the topic goes like this: “If we ask: ‘Why ought I to be unselfish?’ and you reply ‘Because it is good for society,’ we may then ask, ‘Why should I care what’s good for society except when it happens to pay me personally?’ and then you will have to say, ‘Because you ought to be unselfish’—which simply brings us back to where we started.” C.S. Lewis 

*The Bible refers to an overly sensitive conscience as a “weak conscience” (1 Corinthians 8:7 and 1 Corinthians 10) and in Romans chapter 14 Paul discusses the conscience further concluding that: “Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.” (verses 22-23) 

*In the Bible, the insensitive conscience is referred to as “seared with a hot iron” (1 Timothy 4:2)

*We must also remember the spiritual warfare side of this topic. Revelation reveals that the enemy of our souls is called the “Accuser of the brethren”:   “…for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.” Revelation 12:10. Satan loves to remind us of our past sins and current failings and to rub them in our face. This type of thing is not of God. 

Chains & Kite Strings: When God Gives Us Limitations

 The Scriptures are clear that we are not to be in bondage to sin or to the Law but what we sometimes miss in our Christian lives is that there are some “bonds” that are bestowed upon us by God Himself.

We are reminded of the Apostle Paul who was imprisoned by Rome and yet he can say that he was not a prisoner of Rome but a “prisoner of Jesus Christ” (Philemon 1:9). He makes it clear that he is right where God wants him to be and that God is using the “chain” to further the Gospel, encourage the brethren  and bring glory to His name. In fact, Paul wrote 4 of his New Testament Epistles from that Roman imprisonment. Much fruit came from it.

“But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident to the whole palace guard, and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ; and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.” Philippians 1:12-14

We think of breaking the chains of bondage to sin and the Law – and that is a wonderful thing indeed! But we also must keep in mind that some of the limitations in are life are not chains of bondage but actually what John Newton ( former slave trader and author of Amazing Grace) referred to as “kite strings”  in his poem of the late 1700’s below.

Let us consider whether some of the limitations in our life have been placed there by no less than God and that there is purpose in them. Let us learn to be content with God’s will and to “take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10

  

The Kite

by John Newton

Once upon a time a paper kite mounted to a wondrous height,

Where, giddy with its elevation, it thus expressed self admiration:

“See how yon crowds of gazing people admire my flight above the steeple;

How they would wonder if they knew all that a kite like me could do!

Were I but free, I’d take a flight and pierce the clouds beyond their sight;

But, ah, like a poor prisoner bound, my string confines me to the ground.

I’d brave the eagle’s towering wing might I but fly without a string.”

It tugged and pulled, while thus it spoke, to snap the string.

At last it broke.

Deprived at once of all its stay, in vain it tried to soar away.

Unable its own weight to bear, it fluttered downward through the air.

Unable its own course to guide, the winds soon plunged it in the tide.

Ah, foolish kite, thou hadst no wing, how couldst thou fly without a string?

Oh, Lord, I see how much this kite resembles me!

Forgetful that by Thee I stand, impatient of Thy ruling hand;

How oft I’ve wished to break the lines Thy wisdom for my lot assigns.

How oft indulged a vain desire for something more, or something higher.

But for Thy grace and love divine ,a fall thus dreadful had been mine!

8 Biblical Tips for a Healthy Mind (Dealing With Depression and Anxiety)

It is hoped that this article will bring some Biblical enlightenment and encouragement to anyone suffering with thoughts of depression, anxiety or doubt. It is both a Bible study and a personal testimony (In fact, you may watch my testimony of dealing with clinical depression and OCD at the bottom of this page if you would like.) This article is not exhaustive. There is much more that could be added to it  - but it’s a start. 

It is important to clarify that this is a general article for all people ( although it is obviously geared towards Christians) – However if you think you may have an actual mental disorder ( as I do) such as clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder or schizophrenia I strongly urge you to see a doctor ( as I have) and do not be afraid to take the appropriate medication (as I have) if that is what is needed to make you whole. 

#1 The Still Small Voice of God

“…And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.” 1 Kings 19:11-12

When Elijah was discouraged, afraid and on the run the Lord spoke to him in a “still small voice”. It is important to understand the gentleness and calmness in which the Holy Spirit speaks to us because sometimes we confuse the Holy Spirit’s conviction with the enemy’s condemnation. Know the difference. “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus…” (Romans 8:1).

 You can rest assured that God is not the one screaming condemnation at you – that is Satan who is rightly called “The Accuser of the brethren” : “’…for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.” (Revelation 12:11) . While Satan is our accuser, Jesus is our great Advocate. We must rest in the peace that Jesus has made for us with God – by His grace and love and atoning work on the cross. 

#2 God’s thoughts are not your thoughts

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

When our thinking becomes dark, fearful or confused how refreshing it is to be reminded that God’s thoughts are not our thoughts – they are, in fact, high above our thoughts. They are thoughts full of light, peace and clarity and we need to pray that we would get a glimpse of those thoughts and allow them into our own broken minds. 

At the same time what a blessing it is to know that even though He is so high above us He still “Understands our thought afar off…” and is “Acquainted with all our ways…” (Psalm 139:2-3) . God knows the darkness and suffering we sometimes go through. He knows us intimately, He cares, He “gets us”. He is both transcendent of our minds and lovingly understanding of our minds.... 

#3 A Sound Mind

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and 

of love and of a sound mind.” II Timothy 1:7

Here Paul contrasts a spirit of fear with one of power, love and a sound mind. These are not things we can receive by our own strength but rather they are given to us by the grace and power of God as we seek them and allow them to permeate us. This verse is not meant to make us feel guilty or inadequate if we don’t feel like we have a sound mind but rather to encourage us that it is God’s desire and gift for us to have a sound mind.  

Vine translates the Greek sophronismos as literally  “saving the mind”. Other meanings include “restoring one to his senses” and to have moderation and self-control in your thinking.  For me there is always a tendency towards extreme or “catastrophic” thinking.  This is the opposite of moderated thinking. We can liken a well moderated mind to an online forum where many people make many different comments on many different topics but the hardworking and wise Moderators of that group are quick to keep the group in check or “controlled”. Comments ( or “thoughts”) that are toxic or unhealthy (i.e. Trolling) are quickly deleted. In the case of the mind, the Bible and wise Christian advisers are the standard by which the group is moderated. 

#4 Talk it out

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; 

But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14

The latter phrase ( “in the multitude of counselors there is safety”) is repeated 3 times in Proverbs (15:22, 24:6)! For many of us the natural inclination is to keep our negative, dark or confused thoughts to ourselves. We fear what others might think of us if we open up to them. We fear they may think we are silly, weak or even evil. So we close ourselves up, put on a good show and silently retreat into ourselves. Nothing could make the devil happier. 

A Pastor once told me that when the enemy wants to try and destroy someone he will try to separate them from the church and other Christian friends and family – in the very same way a wolf will try to separate a sheep from its flock and its shepherd. Don’t let this happen to you… be courageous enough to be vulnerable to a fellow Christian who is wise, understanding and trustworthy. Sometimes we can receive wonderful Biblical advice that will help us but there is also a true freedom in just saying our thoughts out loud to another person – using them as a sounding board. Whether this is a friend, a pastor or a professional counselor – I urge you to talk it out! 

#5 Positive Thinking

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8 

First let me say that Biblical positive thinking is nothing like the Oprah-esque type of positive thinking we hear so much about today ( i.e. “The Secret” etc). This latter thinking would have us believe that everything we need to be happy lies within ourselves if only we can tap into it through positive thoughts. In contrast the Bible teaches us to think positively (as the above verse indicates) but to know that this positivity is rooted in the character of God and can only come from outside of us – from Him. 

Now a related word on self-esteem. When it comes to the area of self-esteem there are 2 ways in which we can go wrong. One is the more obvious to us Christians and that is self-exaltation or pride. We are often warned about this in sermons and rightfully so. Self-exaltation is repugnant to God. But what we also must realize is that we can go wrong just as easily by being “down on ourselves” all the time or self-loathing. Self-loathing is just as much pride and is just as destructive as self-exaltation – it is simply the other end of the spectrum. We must not focus on “self” at all except to know that God loves us just the way we are and that it is only in His power and grace that we can become more refined and Christ-like as we focus on Him. 

#6 Don’t Overthink (Keep It Simple) 

“He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you, But to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8

It may seem strange but for one who is prone to overthinking some of the best advice I have ever received was to “Keep it simple” or K.I.S.S.   – you can decide what the last “S” stand for.  The reason I used the above verse for this section is because it reminds us of the simplicity of the Christian faith. It reminds us to stop over-thinking everything and just get back to the basics. Don’t worry about doing everything – just do something. Do something just, do something merciful, walk humbly with God. Let God work out the complications. 

Sometimes when we are depressed or anxious it can seem impossible to face the day. But one of the keys is to simply do something – no matter how small or insignificant you may think it is. Whether it is reading one Bible verse, praying for one person or just making your bed that morning – it is something and it gets us on the right track, moving in the right direction. It builds our confidence and sense of accomplishment – it is simple but it is healthy. 

#7 The Armour of God

“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil… above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God…” Ephesians 6:11, 16-17 

I suggest taking the time to read and study this entire portion of Scripture as it is impossible to cover all of its contents in this one point. For the purposes of this article we will focus in on the shield of faith and the helmet of salvation. The “fiery darts” mentioned above are usually taken to mean nasty thoughts and feelings thrown at us by the devil – the enemy of our souls, our hearts and our minds. The Roman shields to which Paul was referring often had a coating of leather on the front that was soaked in water so that they could quite literally quench fiery darts or arrows thrown at them. In the same way, it is faith in the promises of God (The sword of the Spirit) that will shield us against these thoughts and prevent them from taking hold ( or lighting a fire so to speak). 

David Guzik says this concerning he helmet of salvation: “1 Thessalonians 5:8 speaks of the helmet of salvation in connection to the hope of salvation.  The helmet of salvation protects us against discouragement, against the desire to give up, giving us hope not only in knowing that we are saved, but that we will be saved.  It is the assurance that God will triumph.” 

#8 Praise, Worship and Thanksgiving

“But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed.” Acts 16:25-26

We cannot underestimate the power there is in praising God through difficult times and dark thoughts. Here Paul and Silas had just been viciously beaten and were now in prison in stocks. Yet they praised, worshipped and thanked God – the result was freedom - “everyone’s chains were loosed”. In a similar reminder Nehemiah tells the children of Israel “…Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10). 

A.W. Tozer once said that “The root of all evil is the suspicion that God is not good.” Know and believe in the goodness of God and praise Him for it. In the midst of despair or anxiety, remind yourselves of all of your blessings and of all the ways in which God has led and delivered you in the past. Know the future, though it may come with trials, is bright – God has good plans for you!