It surprised me to learn that General "Stormin' Norman " Schwarzkopf told Babara Walters in a 20/20 interview that he had a good cry every once in a while. It didn't surprise me that he cried now and again - it surprised me that he would admit it.
He goes on to tell Walters:
Jer 9:24
But let him who glories glory
in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I am the LORD,
exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For
in these I delight," says the LORD.
He goes on to tell Walters:
"I've been scared in every war I've ever
been in. Any man who
doesn't cry scares me a little."
On the same note, my friend Kent was telling me the other day how he had both watched the movie "Troy" with Brad Pitt and Eric Bana and had read Homer's "The Iliad" on which it was based.
He noticed that in the original, Hector walked around inside the fortress many times in fear and trepidation before coming out to meet Achilles in battle.
However, in the Hollywood movie, this is strikingly missing. Perhaps because it would make Hector seem weak and not a true warrior. Yet we both agreed that the original was far better - as it was far more in tune with reality.
Hector may have been filled with fear - but in the end he faced it. That seems like a more likely and more brave story to me.
My point here is the mixed messages we, as men,
receive in our society.
As one humourist summed up the dichotomy of what is expected of men in today's society ,
"I don't know whether to write a poem or punch my fist through the wall".
It seems we are a bit confused on what makes a man a man with all the mixed messages from society and media. And, personally , I believe this has created some severe polarization in the hearts and minds of men.
On the one end we see someone seeking to fit the "man's man" stereotype. If you're not up to you're neck in cars, hunting, sports, technology, body building and sexual exploits - then you are really no man at all. You are to display no significant emotions except perhaps anger and rage - these seem to be acceptable.
On the other end is the man who just doesn't naturally fit this stereotype and has finally become so frustrated with it all he says "screw it". We often label this man at best as "metrosexual" or maybe "Emo" and at worst as a sissy, weak, gay or fag.
Here's something the Bible says on the topic though:
Jer 9:23
Thus says the LORD: "Let not
the wise man glory in his wisdom, Let not the mighty man glory in
his might, Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
Jer 9:24
But let him who glories glory
in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I am the LORD,
exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For
in these I delight," says the LORD.
The truth is that men come in all shapes and sizes and personalities. It is the character and maturity of that person that defines him as a man. It is the provision for and protection of the ones we love - and not just in the physical sense but also in the emotional and spiritual sense.
When I've thought about what makes a man a man, I often think of King David in the Bible. He was a mighty warrior that many feared and yet he was also compassionate and kind and sensitive. He would pour his heart out to God in the Hebrew poetry we call the Psalms. If you have ever read them you will see how David shows his naked vulnerability and fervent passion to God and to those he loves.
As fathers (As David was) , we need to not just be worried about reproducing an heir but more so on being a role model for that child and raising, disciplining and nurturing them ( I can think of a few kings in history who could have worked on that).
As fathers (As David was) , we need to not just be worried about reproducing an heir but more so on being a role model for that child and raising, disciplining and nurturing them ( I can think of a few kings in history who could have worked on that).
And, of course, the ultimate example is the Son of God - Jesus Christ. He completely revolutionizes how we think of a "hero" or "warrior".
It is His incomprehensible humility that we are to follow.
His steadfast and undying love for His people. A love so undying, in fact, that Jesus Himself would die before He would let this love for His Father and His people die.
Though He could have called "ten thousand angels" , He instead let mere mortals crucify Him - for their very sake, and ours.
His compassion to the poor and needy, the marginalized women and men, the sick and the sinner - that is our example.
Of course we should make no mistake about confusing Jesus' meekness with weakness. For He will come again riding a mighty steed and bringing justice to the world - He is indeed both the Lion and Lamb.
And although , like Jesus, we are to be meek - unlike Jesus, we are indeed weak. But He says to us... "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is
made perfect in weakness."
Paul continues ..."Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in
my infirmities (weaknesses), that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Why are we so afraid of taking on the responsibilities of being a man and, paradoxically, so afraid to show any signs of weakness in that attempt?
The principles and balance of manhood have always been right there in the Bible, but in different times and cultures we tend to focus on some and ignore the others.
So on this father's day let us seek to know our Creator and thereby know more what it is to be a man.
Let us develop healthy relationships with other men, whether they are our fathers, mentors, brothers, friends or sons.
Let anything that has hurt us in the past and skewed our perception of manhood be healed.
Let us honour our fathers and mothers, love our wives as much as we love ourselves and raise our children well, with love, discipline and wisdom, never discouraging them.
Let us honour our fathers and mothers, love our wives as much as we love ourselves and raise our children well, with love, discipline and wisdom, never discouraging them.
And, as my Pastor said today, let us start a new legacy of Biblical manhood and fatherhood.
