The Difference Between Self-Esteem, Self-Respect and Self-Worth

Below is a short but valuable little guide to the definitions and differences between self-esteem, self-respect and self-worth. I can’t take credit for this as the basic idea is from a professional counselor. I’ve added an idea or two and it is something that is really helping me in navigating self-conception in life.

I believe these principles are relevant for everyone and in addition - below the basic definitions - I have also added some thoughts on what these mean for the Christian in particular (and some Scripture verses). 

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is based on things we cannot control like our feelings (emotions) and the opinions of others. It also involves comparing ourselves to others for better or for worse. Under this definition, self-esteem is not really something we are in charge of but rather something subjective that defines our worth at any given moment. It is doomed to go up and down like the waves of the ocean. Too little self-esteem and we end up in a state of depression or despair; too much and we end up proud and arrogant. 

For the Christian (like anyone else really) we want to guard against too much or too little. As we will see later, it is best not to focus on “self” but rather on Christ. 

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18

“But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.” 2 Corinthians 10:12b ESV

Self-Respect

Self-respect is based on your core values and goals and how you live them out on a consistent basis day by day. Under this definition, self-respect is something that remains in your hands and is not tossed about by emotions or the opinions of others. You have determined your core values (i.e. integrity, respect, kindness…) and goals (these should be realistic and achievable) and your self-respect is measured by how you model these even in the face of attacks on your self-esteem. 

For the Christian this means living a life of obedience to God and being Christ-like. The main goal is to love God with all your heart and your neighbour as yourself. Even in striving for these things we acknowledge that it is only by God’s power and grace that we can achieve them. 

“Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39

Self-Worth

Self-worth is based on your intrinsic value as a human being and is foundational to self-respect and self-esteem. Here’s where things get a little tricky though – how do we value our humanity? Some say we are merely an evolved form of animal and nothing more. Some say we are nothing less than gods waiting to find our true identity within. 

For the Christian our intrinsic value as a human being is

based on the knowledge that Almighty God created us in His image and for His glory. It is founded upon the truth that He loves us unconditionally and just as we are. In this we find meaning and purpose. 

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Genesis 1:27

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16


In concluding, one could say that Self-Worth is having meaning and purpose, Self-Respect is living out that meaning and purpose and healthy Self-Esteem is a benefit of it all.